Latina State of Mind
Evolving Love: Balancing Modern Relationships
Can modern relationships truly balance traditional gender roles with the demands of contemporary life? Join us on this episode of Latina State of Mind as Xenia, Diana, and Nancy share their personal journeys from religiously influenced household norms to more egalitarian partnerships. Hear how they navigate the evolving landscape of love and family responsibilities, highlighting the shift from men as sole providers to shared roles in modern households. Our candid conversation also explores the growing trend of opting out of parenthood and the dynamic role of fathers today.
We also tackle the often unspoken challenges faced by stay-at-home parents, especially new mothers. We dive deep into the emotional and physical toll of childcare and household management, stressing the necessity of a supportive partner who shares these burdens. Reflecting on past generations, we celebrate the positive changes in fatherhood, where dads are now more engaged in parenting than ever before. The dialogue underscores the critical importance of empathy and shared responsibilities in nurturing a healthy family environment.
Concluding with a pressing issue, we address the recent legislation in Louisiana that restricts access to abortion pills, highlighting its severe impact on women's healthcare choices. This episode takes a strong stance on preserving reproductive rights and criticizes the hypocrisy of policymakers. We also discuss the importance of open communication in relationships when making life-altering decisions, such as becoming a stay-at-home parent or choosing not to have children. Tune in for heartfelt stories, robust discussions, and a call to action as we navigate the complexities of modern relationships and parenting.
Can modern relationships truly balance traditional gender roles with the demands of contemporary life? Join us on this episode of Latina State of Mind as Xenia, Diana, and Nancy share their personal journeys from religiously influenced household norms to more egalitarian partnerships. Hear how they navigate the evolving landscape of love and family responsibilities, highlighting the shift from men as sole providers to shared roles in modern households. Our candid conversation also explores the growing trend of opting out of parenthood and the dynamic role of fathers today.
We also tackle the often unspoken challenges faced by stay-at-home parents, especially new mothers. We dive deep into the emotional and physical toll of childcare and household management, stressing the necessity of a supportive partner who shares these burdens. Reflecting on past generations, we celebrate the positive changes in fatherhood, where dads are now more engaged in parenting than ever before. The dialogue underscores the critical importance of empathy and shared responsibilities in nurturing a healthy family environment.
Concluding with a pressing issue, we address the recent legislation in Louisiana that restricts access to abortion pills, highlighting its severe impact on women's healthcare choices. This episode takes a strong stance on preserving reproductive rights and criticizes the hypocrisy of policymakers. We also discuss the importance of open communication in relationships when making life-altering decisions, such as becoming a stay-at-home parent or choosing not to have children. Tune in for heartfelt stories, robust discussions, and a call to action as we navigate the complexities of modern relationships and parenting.
this is latina state of mind, a podcast created by latinas for all audiences, where we can share our experiences about love, life and everything in between. Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of Latina State of Mind.
Speaker 3:This is Xenia.
Speaker 1:This is Diana.
Speaker 3:And this is Nancy. How are you guys?
Speaker 1:Good, how are you? I'm good. We're going to be talking today about modern relationships and love and family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, are y'all ready, ready?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm ready to talk some shit, as she usually is. Nothing new, nothing new.
Speaker 1:I think so. This topic is really interesting to me because I always thought I wanted a very true. I still think that I have a very traditional relationship, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't that like I live in a more modern relationship. Um, but, like you know, I grew up religious, so, like for me, like the goal was to have a traditional and what was?
Speaker 2:yeah, what was your perspective, what's your view of it?
Speaker 3:yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna ask too, so it was just um.
Speaker 1:The man is a provider and I stay at home, mom, and I do all the cooking and cleaning and I'm the one that takes care of the children and. I do the sewing and like literally all that.
Speaker 2:Go gather the fruits and the veggies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have my little garden and, yeah, make bread from scratch and all the fun stuff, two kids, three kids, no like five, five kids, two and a half.
Speaker 3:Two and a half is the.
Speaker 1:That's the average. The average, yeah, like five, two and a half. That's the average. That's a modern average. I wanted five or six.
Speaker 2:Oh jeez, you want him to work out on the farm and stuff like that yeah, exactly as Jerome shakes his head.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:Is he a city boy? City boy, I think so, and what is your perspective now? Oh, no, 100. None of that, but I didn't know better yeah I didn't know better you were kind of blinded by religion, I think so I think a lot of it is guided by religion.
Speaker 3:I think the same goes in Catholicism, which is what I grew up in learning knowing about Same Men, women, children. The man is the provider working.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And mom stays at home and watches the kids and does all the housework.
Speaker 1:And you know, in our relationship now, my husband does go to work and I stay home with the baby. But the difference is that I'm not expected to like have a spotless, clean home and I'm not expected to have dinner ready on the table when he gets here, you mean he's not going to beat you up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly what.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't, I'm not expected to rub his feet as he gets home and you know, like I'm not expected to do all those things, if anything. Like he gets home and I get a break. Like he gets home and he says, hey, it's time for your break. Like give me the baby and go, he clocks in yeah, go basically, and then right, like clocks out and clocks in, and then we, we share this responsibility of a baby that we both made Exactly.
Speaker 2:Because you both made them.
Speaker 1:And he thinks like it's really interesting to see it, because he thinks that this is standard. Like we were just talking about this.
Speaker 1:He was like because I told him how impressed I am, I like how good he is with our baby and like how much help he gives me and how amazing it all is and he was like this is standard, like this is what should be done, but this is not what it's done, like for a lot of women, like they don't get the help that they need from their partners when it comes to the children like. I know for a fact that if I was working as well as having a baby at home, like I, would have the exact same help that I have now like I would, or more like right, and that's the difference between that traditional and modern relationship yeah yes I am not currently in a relationship, so I don't know how well I can talk about this, but but you know, you have an idea and you've seen
Speaker 2:yeah, and one thing one of my biggest requirements to have like a family, to have kids, is that the dad like the father of my kids is an actual dad, is an actual father like takes care of the child we both made. Yeah, I don't want to be the soul and I feel like it happens a lot and that's why divorce is happening a lot, because the mom usually shares most of the responsibility of taking care of the house. Uh, a lot of times they're professional, the profession and the kids as well. Yeah, um, and so at least one of my requirements, I I don't mind. I've been taught to work. My parents taught me to work, whether it was my brothers or me like a girl, I've been taught to do that, so I don't have an issue with that, but I do need, I do require the partner to give in some equal help.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But I will not have children if I don't have like a good partner in that sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's one of the things of modern relationships also, I think. No, well, people are still expected to do things, but I feel like a lot of people now are deciding not to have kids, like that's something that people are choosing for themselves. Yeah, good for them. I think it's still questioned a lot by especially by like their parents, which grew up in a different generation. But yeah, I feel like creating a family for a lot of people doesn't necessarily involve having kids, yeah, yeah, and I get that a lot.
Speaker 2:It's got questioned a lot and I think, well, there's a reason why people don't want to have kids because having kids is hard. It's how it's hard and they maybe didn't receive the attention that they would have required, so they don't want to pass along that too if they can't do that to their child, why would they have a child?
Speaker 3:yeah. If they don't want to, why would they? Yeah, right, like they just don't want to spend money on that.
Speaker 1:I mean mean on a child, Not that Sorry I think one of the things also and I've noticed this a lot is that there are a lot of married single parents or, like single women, single mothers.
Speaker 2:Like they're married but they don't have the support Right, so they're technically single mothers. And not only that, sometimes they're raising their husband or their partner right, which I think is like I have.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of people who have relationships where the woman is expected to do everything that has to do with the kids. Like a kid needs a bath you handle it. Kids need to eat you handle it. They need a diaper change you handle it. And at that point, what's the point? You know like, yeah might as well, just yeah, like might as well be single sticking up divorce the man yeah hopefully get some uh, uh.
Speaker 2:What's it called um child support, support and? You're doing it on your own anyway you were already doing it on your own. Let's get some kind of financial stability. I mean, unfortunately that's not the case for all the um cases, but still yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 3:I'm in a relationship with a woman, so modern relationship for sure the award the most modern relationship.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, so it's interesting to think about anything like that, like household chores or who works or who doesn't, because I mean whoever works works, and whoever is there and can do the things does the things, and, yeah, we both work together to get stuff done, and that's it I feel like, but I feel like the men have been raised to not notice, yeah, yeah like it's there, the dirty dishes might be there yeah but there might be taught to not notice them, to not acknowledge it and not acknowledge when the dishes are clean.
Speaker 3:Do you know what I think it is also? I think right, I don't know for, but I think a lot of it is too that some men feel like because they're going to work.
Speaker 2:They're done.
Speaker 3:They have done what they should be doing, without taking into consideration how much work it is being at home. Especially if you have kids, it's a lot of work.
Speaker 2:Bro, I live by myself and it's tough bro, I have to clean after myself. A lot of these men don't even clean after themselves, don't clean after their children, don't clean after their partner so yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think a lot of it is that they feel like they've contributed enough by working without thinking about how much work it takes if they have a partner who's female and is at home doing everything bring me back two paychecks and I'll do whatever I can.
Speaker 2:That's what I used. Okay, let me chime in because here's the thing.
Speaker 1:I felt so like, oh my gosh, please, it's like as a female, I was like it's easy, like just be. It's like as a female, I was like it's easy, like just be home, you know, like clean and just clean yourself and just be home. I've been a stay at home mom for about a month, two months.
Speaker 2:So just a little bit of experience. This shit is hard yeah.
Speaker 1:Because there are times when baby does not want to be put down and he screams and cries. If I put him down and I don't have the heart to let my child cry for 10 minutes while I take a shower and just let him like scream his little lungs out, I'm not. I'm not that kind of person that's like, if you, if you, if you do that, it's up to you, um, yeah, um. But then you know, like I have to figure out a way to like kind of clean up the house while sometimes having to carry him, while sometimes putting him down, if he lets me while taking care of myself while figuring out how to do dishes.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe, um, I had time to take out the chicken or the meat or whatever it is for dinner, but it's a process and it's hard and it's like you have to be available to feed. You have to be available and, like, a lot of the times, by the time Jerome gets home, I'm overstimulated and I'm just like like I just need 10 minutes to not be touched, like because that baby's on you the entire time and you know and that's great because you're his safety and that's who what the baby wants to be but how sad it is to to feel all those things and not have a partner that gets home to you and says, hey, here, give me a baby, I'll take a break you don't have.
Speaker 2:You, don't you right? You're a safety to your child. But who's a safety to you? To me, yeah, especially with postpartum like your hormones are like crazy right.
Speaker 1:So that's another dynamic. So like not only are we dealing with this relationship, that's modern to us because we're not doing with the traditional thing I don't cook, I don't like to cook like it's not my thing, I don't like it, I don't find any joy in cooking like I don't like it I burn things like I stopped.
Speaker 1:If I cook, I cook because I have a craving of something I know how to make, but it's not something that gives me a lot of joy, like it makes me sad to say it because I wish I I like to cook but we've also been conditioned that we are supposed to know how to yes, and that's another thing you know, like, like you're a bad wife if you can't exactly now this trader, joe's meal is gonna suffice exactly trader joe's for the win the kung fu chicken, kung pao chicken yum but then you feel, as a woman, like I have felt so bad and I have put so much of my worth in a traditional marriage and I have been like so hard on myself for not cooking for him, for not having a spotless house, for not having my makeup done, for not looking a certain way.
Speaker 1:Man, I'm trying like every day I'm like I'm gonna get a. I brush my teeth and I gotta shower today. He let me shower today and I put a little mascara on and I won today. You know, like every day is different and so like I'm so grateful that I don't have somebody that's coming home and yelling at me for not being fully make makeup done and for not having dinner on the table and for you know and this is a man that provides for you and, exactly like men that are not providing, are doing this, and that's the yeah, that's a whole nother story.
Speaker 2:Evaluate your life if you're not providing.
Speaker 1:But yet here you are demanding right right and so, like I see, I think about like the women that came before me in their traditional marriage and I'm like how the hell did they do that? Because this, this is hard, and they had like six or seven kids, yeah yeah have one. Imagine when you have two. No, I can't, she doesn't want to.
Speaker 2:No I get it. I feel like maybe I can talk about my parents' relationship. My dad was a provider. My mom was also a provider and, yeah, he was a good dad, just kidding. No, he was a great dad because she provided, he provided, and then they both took care of the children. My siblings and I, we were both taken care of by them. It wasn't just like, oh, it's just mom or it's just dad, no, it was both of them, and whether they were fighting or not or whatever, they would still Like they were still our parents Still divided them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, you know like doesn't matter what was going on with them. They were still always our parents and so that's kind of maybe that's why I have my requirement that I need someone like that in my life, because I'll be able to provide. They might be able to provide but, like, both of them need to provide to the children that you both made. But I don't know how my mom did it. She worked and took care of like usually most of mostly four of us I'm like you, go girl.
Speaker 1:One of the things I have heard is that we have the most involved fathers in this generation.
Speaker 1:Like, um, this generation has the fathers that are most involved in the in their children's life, and I, like, I think that's pretty cool like I see my husband, with my, with, with our kid, and I think how lucky is my, my, my baby that he gets a dad that's like fully involved and like it's there all the time. And I see my brothers with their kids and they're like so into it. My dad was pretty involved with us, like he was um, but I think it's really cool. You know like we have that this generation. Another thing that these modern relationships are doing is like we're having open relationships people have open marriages and that's something you didn't like.
Speaker 1:Maybe it was a hush hush thing like there was an arrangement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thing back in the day I'm sure it was a thing.
Speaker 3:I think there's always been a thing, but I think now people are allowed to are allowed to say it and be open about it, Right right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bring in whoever you need to bring in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's kind of part of what being in a modern relationship is is kind of choosing whatever works for you and your family, whatever that means to you, even because I know a lot of women also just want to be home with kids and, yeah, like good for you that's your choice.
Speaker 3:That's the beauty about it exactly being able to make decisions what feminism, yeah, yeah and I feel like I mean that's great, right, if they can and that's what they want and that works out for them, that's perfect. But also having the choice to not just wait for a man to come home and have dinner ready for them or whatever, if that's not what you really want to do, yeah yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:I think that it's so important, like when we're, when you're one of the conversations and and this might be a part of a we're when you're one of the conversations and and this might be a part of a more modern relationship too like one of the conversations I had with with my husband, before we even thought about marriage, is if, if you and I ever had a kid and our kid came out as gay, transgender or whatever that, what would your reaction be?
Speaker 1:and he said I don't know, I'd love the kid like it's my kid and that was for me like such an important conversation to have, because I have a lot of friends that are part of that community and I I, if my child was that is that, um, I'm not gonna disown them, I'm not gonna kick them out, and but you know how does your partner feel about it.
Speaker 1:You know, and those are conversations we're not, we were not having before and we're having now, and that was an important part of my relationship, because I didn't want to have a fight like that, like I didn't want anybody to make my kid feel less than because of whatever, whoever they are.
Speaker 3:Right, you know. So that was a green flag, for sure, that was a super green flag.
Speaker 2:And that was for me an important conversation. You know 100 an important conversation and a lot of the conversation starts with the do you want to have kids? Conversation yeah but, yes, a lot of these conversations are being had now, whether open relationship, whether closed relationship. Kids, no kids what happens if the kids don't turn out the quote-unquote traditional way. What if they think differently, work differently, and that works with, uh, whatever gender is going on, or sexuality, but also with the like diseases or not diseases, but like disabilities yeah that that's.
Speaker 3:That should be embedded in the conversation as well yeah, maybe that's part of it too, just having conversations about everything and both partners being able to have an opinion and validating each other's opinions and making sure that you're on the same page about things before committing. I think before it was just like more about maybe, well at first, something that made sense for the families. Right like you marry someone who helped your family grow or whatever, yeah and then maybe more attraction than anything else.
Speaker 3:But now I feel like we're also having conversations like Diana. Like you were saying, you require that someone provides this for you or brings this to the table for you. I think we to the table for you. I think we're more open to talking about things like that when we find someone who can be a potential partner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I feel like most of us want to find a person that we're going to be with for the rest of our lives and pick the right one. Yeah, ask the right questions to get there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but even divorce now is more common and part of like I don't know like blended families blended families. I think that's great yeah it's more of the modern yeah way, I suppose yeah different dynamics.
Speaker 2:People are not staying for the kids as they were yes, yes, yes, yes, very important I think it's, I think think it's great, great, yeah, I mean, why make them go through whatever you're going with your partner, right? If you can provide a safer space, then try to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, If you can. Yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:I think one of the key things is also like having relationships that make you happy. You know, Like I feel like a lot of the times I know I did it before like you feel lonely and you settle into something that feels kind of comfortable or kind of okay, like they give you like enough, yeah, enough yeah, but I feel like that also doesn't bring you the most joy.
Speaker 1:And if you follow like I don't know, like if you know who you are and you know what you want, then you should be able to have those conversations with your partner or the person you're attracted to or you're going to start a relationship with, and and really find like, really find like the key things that are important for you and that will make you like happy. You know, like that that brings you joy and makes you the happiest yeah, that should be the goal in life, right, yeah?
Speaker 3:should be it should be yeah do you think diana or yesenia, or both of you? If your partner male lost their job, like if you had a partner right?
Speaker 2:now makes for reminding me, and they stayed home.
Speaker 3:Would you guys be okay with that, with being the provider of the home?
Speaker 2:I yeah yeah I would be okay if I was still working and my partner lost their job.
Speaker 1:I would be okay with them being the stay-at-home parent I wasn't okay with that at that, like at one point I thought it was like the weirdest, like I was because of that traditional right that I had yep, I was like no way, like I can't, I'm never gonna support a man blah blah. But now I understand. It's like you know, if he's to lose his job and I have a job like, and I can provide for our family why not?
Speaker 1:yeah, why not if he stays with baby. Yeah, I'll do it Like that'd be great Like.
Speaker 2:I personally would almost prefer it. Yeah, because I don't know. Men need to learn what it's like to stay at home, and it's going to build a different relationship, at least with your children. It's going to build a different relationship, maybe a closer one with their dad, where we don't see that. It happens very often, uh, or it didn't happen very often, but I, I wouldn't mind it. I personally wouldn't mind it, um, but yeah, why not?
Speaker 1:yeah yeah I feel like it's a I think a lot of the times like I had so many like really uh hard opinions about certain things, and the more I think about it, the more I'm like well, yeah, because you know I was. I feel like I was conditioned to feel those things you know I felt like I was told, like this is the right way, like this is the way that it's always supposed to be the only way that you're supposed to do it.
Speaker 1:And when things didn't feel that way, I was always like, no, that's not right. And then I was like, wait, why isn't it right?
Speaker 2:because you, you know if someone else says yeah that's it.
Speaker 3:But it feels right for that family, for that right you know like, then it's great yeah, we're all so different and going through so many different things that obviously we're all gonna need different things yeah, in our family structures or dynamics, not a one-size-fits-all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, we've experienced so much already with the pandemic that there's likely a lot of individuals that had to stay at home right that were required to stay at home and a lot of other individuals were able to keep going to work. So it happens and sometimes it's natural like forces you know, you don't it's not you willingly doing this, you just have to do it because, life because there's a pandemic going on um, we are in the talks, I guess, of like a war and then being involved in it.
Speaker 2:I'll guess. Guess who goes to war? Usually, yeah, men. So there's going to be a period that there may be more women in the workforce. So and this isn't the first time, unfortunately, that it's happened, so it's used to it hopefully it gets more, unfortunately, normalized at least in this scenario, in this case um it's hard to talk, but something we need to talk about yeah, for sure yeah, how do we feel about men being drafted to go to war?
Speaker 1:um, I think war is stupid and it shouldn't be freaking happening.
Speaker 2:So that's my first thought yeah it is what it is, I guess, yeah, I, it's tough, it's tough to think about, it's tough to talk about it.
Speaker 1:It's yeah, I think you should go to war if you want to go to war. I don't think people should be drafted to go to war.
Speaker 3:They don't think anybody should be made to go to war if they don't want to go right like yeah, yeah, it's not like you started.
Speaker 2:Traditional you started your war and now you're making people go fight because you wanted to fight it and make them, but you're not sending any of your family members to fight this war, so yeah, no, it's, it's very unfortunate, it's but there's, and what we're talking is like there's a lot of these scenarios there. It's, it's a have to you know you have to.
Speaker 3:There's no kind of want to. No choice in the matter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, yeah, right but hey, at least women and men are being drafted this time around, I think I'm not sure. Well, I'm too old, so I'm good I won't make it my knees are too bad for this my knees don't work.
Speaker 3:I would fail that physical test real quick real quick.
Speaker 1:The first thing right, you have to run a mile. Oh, I can't man, if you give me a red bull, I'll do it well just kidding, I'll be anxious the whole time, oh man is there a um, is there a relationship, a modern relationship type that you would, that you feel like you wouldn't be a part of that.
Speaker 2:You feel like in your heart, you, you just couldn't open relationship yeah, I don't think I can do it no uh-uh, it's not for me it wouldn't bring me happiness exactly a lot of anger I would do it, but then I wouldn't let my partner do it, and I recognize that that is not fair well, but it works for some people, so you might be able to find someone who's okay with that I don't want them to be okay with that, though like I'm so complicated I know I like the idea flag of like them not doing that to me either, like them not being able to think about me being able to do that with someone else what, what, what you know, uh, how do I explain it?
Speaker 3:like I don't want them to be okay with you being with somebody else. Yeah, you want that. You want them to be possessive of you a little bit.
Speaker 2:That's the red flag. I didn't want to say it though I don't want to be like I understand, yeah, I didn't want to say it because I don't. I don't want people to think that this is how I feel yeah, but you are okay, but I am right.
Speaker 3:But who are we kidding?
Speaker 2:yeah, exactly, I know who I am. That's fine. No, but I don't think I'd be able to do it for that reason yeah, I don't see, and yeah, yeah, same I would absolutely not.
Speaker 1:I know, I don't, I, I don't think I know for a fact that I couldn't do it it would be too difficult, right, it would just be, and I think it's really interesting for um polyamorous relationships where they have like all together, all together, right that's my answer yeah, you want to do a poly I want to have two boyfriends, two husbands and them be part of.
Speaker 3:We're all like romantically involved too, all of us. Oh, okay, that could. You could find that I could find that I don't know for sure.
Speaker 2:Do I have to move to utah for that?
Speaker 1:no, no, no I don't think I could do poly either, like that would be too difficult we uh are watching or we're watching um couples therapy.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you guys have seen that show so good um paramount with showtime okay so good, but they had a one of the. It's not a couple, it's a polycule okay so it's how many individuals?
Speaker 2:three yeah the man is in a relationship with both of the women okay, but the women are not in a relationship with each other okay, and they also have other partners wow very interesting and this is like a real thing yeah yeah, yeah, it's part of the poly, yeah, it's part of yeah, I mean there's a lot of new designations, so we're here, we're out here learning yeah, that would be super complicated for me yeah, yeah yeah, because it's like too many people to keep track of but too many feelings for me to to to keep track of.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like I love the monogamous relationship because I only have to focus on one person and I can give my all to that person. That person can give, like you know, to that.
Speaker 2:I feel like if I had to do more than that, it would be so complicated you know, you've got a point actually, like you've got to worry about one person's feelings and then the other person's feelings and make sure that they don't confuse their feelings. It could get a little confusing with that, but it's cool that it works for some people right Instead.
Speaker 3:Of being forced to be in a monogamous relationship where they're going to be having feelings for other people as well and hurting this person because they can't just have one partner.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Good for them. If everyone involved is On board, great, go for it I think that's the key and that's what makes it modern Right.
Speaker 2:So like.
Speaker 1:You have to be on board, you have to talk about. They have these conversations.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Openly about what you're looking for in that relationship. I'm going to be in a poly relationship.
Speaker 2:I'm going relationship. I'm gonna be in a poly relationship. I'm gonna have this. Yeah, this is what the rules adults, yeah, consenting adults.
Speaker 1:This is what the rule is gonna be. This is where our standards, this is where our bottom lines boundaries, all that you have to talk about, all those things yeah, that's a lot of work yeah and if you do it and if it's and it works, it's awesome yeah, exactly, yeah yeah, so shout out to those people.
Speaker 3:Hopefully we learn more about that, because I it's interesting new yeah, and it's completely yeah, 100%, interesting yeah, you guys should watch that show, though.
Speaker 1:It's really good I watched like a few episodes and I was so annoyed with a lot of the males in this I wonder if it was season two, because there's season one.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, and some of these guys were just like idiots, it's like not idiots they're just so emotionally not like yeah they're like they just that connection was not yeah, it's, it's interesting, it's an interesting show yeah, yeah, but it is really interesting yeah but I don't think I could do that, I don't think I could win an opportunity no, no it would be too difficult for me boyfriends.
Speaker 2:I'm okay with that, yeah you, can we? That would be poly for you, yeah, yeah I would love that send your applications to lsom underscore podcast. What do you mean?
Speaker 1:dan, I don't know if you could share that attention, though. What do you?
Speaker 2:mean, no, I'm getting the attention, yeah, but then you still have to give that attention to two, do you mean? No, I'm getting the attention, yeah, but then you still have to give that attention to two people.
Speaker 3:No, I don't it's gonna be a one-way relationship okay, she has two boyfriends, but she doesn't have to love them they just or I would love them, though you know that relationship would be sub dom okay with both of them right um, not what I was thinking, but why not yeah?
Speaker 2:why not?
Speaker 3:like make it even more interesting.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can have this conversation again with people that have different yeah, well no, the people that have like different relationship types and just like a monogamous modern relationship. Do we know anyone? I don't know anyone, but if any, of our listeners want to come yeah talk to us and have a fun relationship like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't, or not fun. Even if it's not fun, just let us into the drama.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if you've had some experience with that? That'd be cool.
Speaker 2:We'll make sure you don't say names, real people's names, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It would be such an interesting topic though it's something that we're not used to seeing. We're only used to seeing the traditional male and female and we're finally breaking out into like female, female, male, male.
Speaker 3:Woo, woo and female, and we're finally breaking out into like female, female, it's not pride anymore, but I know it's always pride, always pride in uh nancy's heart. In my world it's always no, it should always be pride in everybody's world. Yeah, diana, come on, get on board isn't there like a single where's?
Speaker 2:no, not a single. It's valentine's day february yeah, yeah that's that's why they get a short month. It's fine.
Speaker 1:It's fine, they can deal um, I think we're done talking yeah, yeah, this was a great conversation, great yeah let's find people.
Speaker 3:Unless we don't have anything else. I don't think so Just go home.
Speaker 1:It's been a long day. Bye bitches. How about some of the Diana's Daily shit? Here we go. Here we go what you got today.
Speaker 2:We're going to have a tough conversation. It's not a tough conversation Sort of. It's whatever I know. No, it's important. So recently, in May, louisiana designated abortion pills as controlled substance deaths. So I know, so, I know. So, meaning that having being in possession of I'm not going to say the names of the actual medications because I can't but having possessing these items without a prescription could send you to jail and it could cost you thousands of dollars in fines, you, thousands of dollars in fines.
Speaker 2:Um, so here once again, the us, or in this case, the state restriction restricting access to abortion pills or taking care of I don't know how to say it, but like women's choice, health care well, health care exactly thank you, yeah like, because not only does this medication could help for this, but also it could be necessary for other things, and this restriction is going to restrict um, what's it called? Doctors I couldn't think of that uh medical professionals from prescribing it to other individuals that may or may not need it.
Speaker 2:Um, so it's becoming tiring to continue hearing of this conversation that there's more and more restrictions on what a woman can and cannot do with her body. Um, once again, it's a lot of males doing this, yep, that have no need for this that will never have the need for this, that they will never be faced with a choice, a difficult choice, of keeping it or of keeping a pregnancy or not.
Speaker 3:Or who might have already done something like this.
Speaker 2:A lot of times, a lot of these people in power have the option and have the funds and have the means to go to another state to receive this type of health care yeah, they and they have done it, but they won't, but they won't, but they won't allow you to do it right, not the people in your state, but they can.
Speaker 2:But they have the funds and the means could go get taken care of, like safely right um, so it's obviously hypocrism, but it's so unfortunate that we still have to continue talking about this conversation, that we still get restricted on what we can do with our bodies or not. And, like I said, it's white males doing this restriction when they themselves have partaken in one way or another by sending their mistresses, their whatever, to another state to be taken care of and it's been.
Speaker 2:This has been known for. There's reports of many, uh professionals doing this, or I guess not professionals, but like people in government having the ability to do this. Yep, it's been a thing since like the 60s, I don't know. It's been a thing for a really long time and people don't notice it and people are against pro-choice and they should just believe in the choice. That's all we're asking.
Speaker 3:At least that's all I'm asking just the choice right of the being able to keep it or not right, it's ridiculous that we're still having this conversation at this point.
Speaker 1:It's, yeah, the saddest thing is like we are seeing so many women that are going through like some really scary health issues because they're not allowed to get an abortion for like a fetus. That's not viable or like all these things that are happening to their bodies and they're not. They're getting like in trouble for trying to go to a different state to get the help they need, and so I think that's like one of the saddest things you know.
Speaker 2:Like you're, you're killing women and the thing is that, okay, you're not allowing them to have an abortion. So when the kid, and you're so protecting of that kid's life while it's in the womb, but what happens when they kill it, when the kid is born? They're like oh, don't use state funds. Don't use whatever federal benefits.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they don't even want to give free lunches at schools.
Speaker 1:That's the most ridiculous shit.
Speaker 3:I've ever heard.
Speaker 1:I heard somebody say they are not pro-life, they're pro-birth. Yeah, because after those kids are born, you're not doing anything for their lives.
Speaker 2:You're being judged for being a single mother in a lot of cases when that could have been avoided if they would have been allowed to terminate the pregnancy because they knew that the father was not going to be in the picture. So, like you're going to judge them but you're going to do nothing about it, you're going to force them to have the child.
Speaker 1:Make it make sense, please yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't.
Speaker 3:It's ridiculous, it is ridiculous, it's such a sad conversation to have.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it really is Because we just want the choice. That's it. I bet you a lot of women are not going to go running to terminate their pregnancy.
Speaker 1:No, but that's what people are making it sound like. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But no, like they just want, we just want the choice yeah that's it. It's so sad, but so angering yeah, just super yeah, yeah, I can't even comprehend how we're here yeah, it's, and a lot of these, unfortunately, and a lot of in lisiana, where this happened. In abuse is very common and pregnancies from that abuse can be common and they can't even terminate because of that or they can't use this quote-unquote controlled substance for that yeah that's unfortunate sad I'm sorry that I brought you guys down, but it's a conversation we need to have no, seriously though it's
Speaker 3:just, it's just a matter of having a choice, that's all, yeah, we'll have to have an episode and talk about it a little more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should cover it a little bit more so we can all be angry. I'm just kidding, we all are angry, the entire episode just angry.
Speaker 3:Yes, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding I feel like it's. I was trying to Google this, but there are so many of these states that are like so against abortion are also the states with the lowest age for marriage. For like little ones can get married. I feel like that in itself should tell you something like these people are sick yeah.
Speaker 2:They have some sort of weird kink fantasy. I don't know, I don't get it.
Speaker 1:I don't get what the whole obsession is with women having children but then the same children that are ringing to this world to just be abused, yeah right, yeah, I don't know, we could probably get really deep into this I know there's, yeah, there's so much we'll keep it, we'll keep it light for this one time, I know right too far too far any closing thoughts on modern relationships um.
Speaker 3:Thank you for the award of the most modern relationship in the room you're welcome.
Speaker 2:I just want to say thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 3:No, I'm just kidding. Um, I think I mean for me. I'm just glad that people are more open to respecting people's choices.
Speaker 2:It's kind of the same thing we're talking about with abortion like it's nobody's business if they're not hurting anyone if they're adults consenting consenting adults.
Speaker 3:It makes it, it makes them happy, like they just let them be whatever choice they want to make and have the relationships they want to have and the family they want to have, and I don't see why that's a problem your unhappiness should not affect someone else's happiness yep exactly yeah, um, I feel like ask the questions before you get into a relationship.
Speaker 1:Be modern enough to get to know your partner. Those things are really truly matter to you. Make sure that you see eye to eye in the important things. At the end of the day, it's your relationship and do whatever the hell you want with it, if you want to become a stay-at-home mom or dad then talk about it.
Speaker 2:Talk about it with your partner, because they'll most likely be on board on it, and if not, well, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:And if you don't want to have kids, don't have kids, don't have kids. They're expensive, they're a lot of work, but I don't want to work and I want to spend money on me.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding, but honestly. I do yeah, and personally, I'm just grateful that my parents showed me a different type of relationship, so that's me helping me get a better relationship. Yeah For sure, cool, all right.
Speaker 1:So por también Love you guys, see you Bye, bye.
Speaker 3:Thank you for listening to Latina State of Mind, produced by us, your awesome hosts, diana, xenia and Yancy. Special shout out to Jerome, our editor. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at lsom underscore podcast, and on Facebook at Latina State of Mind. Hasta la proxima.