Latina State of Mind
Join our lively Latina trio as they dive into thought-provoking and relatable conversations on this episode of Latina State of Mind. From tackling tough and honest topics to just simply hanging out and having fun, you won't want to miss a minute of this episode. Listen in as they bring in special guests and professionals to provide guidance and insights, making this podcast a must-listen for anyone looking to broaden their perspectives and expand their knowledge. Tune in now for a fresh and exciting take on life, culture, and everything in between. Get ready to be inspired and entertained with Latina State of Mind.
Latina State of Mind
Heartaches and Healing
Ever found yourself drowning in sorrows, with a pint of ice cream in one hand and a glass of tequila in the other, after a relationship ended? Relationships, breakups, and the chaotic emotional aftermath are all on the table in the latest episode of Latina's State of Mind. We bare our souls and share our personal tales of heartache, from the sting of being dumped to the guilt of being the dumper. We even tackle the controversial topic of breaking up via text and uncover our unique coping mechanisms, whether that's turning to sweet treats or sad tunes.
But it's not all tears and tequila. We also explore the healing process after a breakup, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and cherishing the good memories instead of rushing to forget. We even venture into the complex territory of staying friends with an ex and how to navigate the niceties of a too-nice ex. Remember, breakups are messy and healing is personal.
So come join us, laugh, cry, and gain some wisdom from our raw, real experiences and thoughts.
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created by Latinas for all audiences, where we can share our experiences about love, life and everything in between.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone. Happy Saturday, yes.
Speaker 1:Hello, how are we doing today, hi Nancy?
Speaker 2:Hi, great, how are you? I'm doing, great, happy to be here. Yay, another episode. Guess what we're covering today. What Breakups. I'm excited about this topic, I think so I think we're going to cover some heavy topics, but it's going to be fun.
Speaker 1:We'll make it fun yeah you know, we'll make it fun.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyways, how do we start this?
Speaker 3:How many breakups now? Everyone count your breakups, Liz.
Speaker 2:Dang girl, why are you making that face?
Speaker 1:Well, because I haven't had many, I kind of feel like a loser. Oh, I thought it was the opposite.
Speaker 2:No, you've had way too many. So you're like oh wait, I'm having trouble counting them no.
Speaker 3:Well, I guess we can start by talking about what kind of person we are after a breakup. Ooh, okay, you start, I guess that, okay, good.
Speaker 1:So I'm a super emotional person in general, but I'm just like dramatic I think, love that, but not like in the sense of like I'm going to go, like, make a big deal at his place or whatever. I just like. I think I used to tend to cry a lot. I used to listen to a lot of banda and at one point I used to the good old days. Yeah and I learned to drink a lot of tequila Dang, Tequila models. Oh man, oh man.
Speaker 3:Dang.
Speaker 1:That's what the breakups bring out in me.
Speaker 2:Good times oh man, I'm, I'm an angry one. Ooh. I know I'm an angry, broken up person, broken person, broken person. I'll kind of like dwell on what went wrong and that will just make like frustrate me over and over again and I'm the kind of person that will think it over too many times. So, yeah, I'll get angry and then I'll get sad. It basically go through the emotions and then it'll be like, oh, I'm free.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but not really yeah, and but let's see to help me cope with that. I don't, I'm not much of a drinker, but maybe, like candy actually, I'll get something sweet to like. Try to sweeten up my life in some sort of way. That and sad music.
Speaker 1:Yeah, make yourself even sadder.
Speaker 2:Exactly, ramona and the other.
Speaker 1:Why do we?
Speaker 3:like this.
Speaker 2:Why do we do that to ourselves, oh man.
Speaker 3:I think I've been like I usually just like pretend, like it's not a big deal, but then it always is.
Speaker 2:That's not a great coping, I know, I know. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think I'm always like yeah, whatever, I'm like, come back.
Speaker 1:Just kidding.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean especially when I was younger, I think. I don't think I ever I don't know if I ever did like anything too dramatic. I didn't drink a lot before, so that wasn't good either, but you know.
Speaker 2:I. I've always wanted to be. I don't have it in me, but I wish I did. I want to be toxic. Yes.
Speaker 1:I would have loved to have been toxic. Exactly I want to be destructive.
Speaker 2:I want to break someone's windows. I want, like the vehicle windows. I want to slash someone's tires. Yeah, I want to take off, yeah, I want to take off like their license plate sticker so they could get a ticket for that too. Evil. You're evil, but I just think about these things. I don't actually do them, but I do. If someone fucks me up enough, I will. I will go to jail for that. I will get a mug shot.
Speaker 1:It was what you have been warned.
Speaker 2:I hope my future partner doesn't hear this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no joke.
Speaker 3:I mean, I guess, cover your ears right now.
Speaker 2:My future husband listening to these? I'm just kidding, I would never Okay, but has anyone actually done that?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:Nothing like that Dramatic.
Speaker 2:That dramatic yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I've always wanted to do that. I always wanted to do that, but I feel like it was too much of a I care too much for them and I was always like I wouldn't hurt them. He would love to hurt me and so I wouldn't do things like that. But now I'm like man, I should have done it Like I should have scratched a couple cars I should have, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you guys usually in your previous relationships? Have you guys initiated the breakup or has anyone broken up with you? I've been broken up with. I've been broken up with. I think once, twice, three times.
Speaker 1:All the time, let's not give out numbers.
Speaker 2:Only cause. I don't want to give out numbers.
Speaker 1:I think it's always been like a fucked over type of situation, like it's never been like I don't want to do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to do this um, fucking around and I felt no. Yeah. So then, in that case, you initially did the breakup?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess, Cause like you found out and you were like nope but I'm really bad with breakups or stuff like that, cause I just stopped talking to people like no explanations, just like I'm done as well, I feel guilty for like for doing that Cause.
Speaker 2:I wish I would have cause. I provided myself closure, but I don't think I didn't provide closure to the other person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if they're being jerks like that.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I think you need. Do need to have some sort of communication Like fuck you, you hurt me and I'm breaking up with you. Instead of just giving them the satisfaction of not talking to them anymore. True.
Speaker 3:But then how do you guys feel about breaking up via text? I don't like it.
Speaker 1:That's lame.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1:I would do it.
Speaker 2:Oh, have I done it? Yes, is it great? No, yeah, and so I've decided to not do it again or try to not do it again. At least I would do it again. Wait, so you've done it the first time. I've done it. Nice, mm. Hmm, I've done it. How did they react?
Speaker 3:Um, I mean, were they just like okay, yeah, like whatever, yeah?
Speaker 2:I kind of sucks, though I'm not going to lie, cause they not feel enough to be hurt.
Speaker 3:Don't you love me, don't you love me. I'm going to call you so we can break it over the phone. Is that better, though? Over the phone, I don't know. I mean it's more awkward, yeah, so hey.
Speaker 2:um we're breaking up. Yeah, that's hard, yeah, and I've actually haven't done that over the phone, so I can't really say yeah, I'm experienced, but you're going to From no one starting to do it no text anymore.
Speaker 1:She's going to do it over the phone only.
Speaker 2:Um, I want to do it in person, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's probably better yeah.
Speaker 2:That's the best way to do it.
Speaker 3:Can we be there to watch?
Speaker 2:You can be in the background Right right. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah, but like an audience. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, let's go Poor guy. Let me get into a relationship so you guys can watch how I break up.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:You already feel bad for this non-existent guy.
Speaker 3:Yes, poor guy, non-existent ex.
Speaker 1:Come on.
Speaker 1:I'll allow you to break one of his windows, okay, fine, as long as I get to break windows, oh my gosh, we're bad. What? Um, what I feel like, okay, so I can think of like a breakup. That was really traumatic for me, because I think that was like the first person that I really had like big girl feelings for and I feel like after this person I was just like, oh my gosh, then I stopped like really trusting guys and after this person, like I just I think I wasn't expecting it to go that way Um, because I've always been such a like dreamer and I've always been like, oh, everything's gonna work out and, um, I think once that was over, I didn't know what to do with myself or how to like handle myself. So I think I made a lot of really stupid choices.
Speaker 1:Like I was just like drinking a lot because I didn't know how to like cope with the breakup, because I guess, like I never had felt big feelings for anyone else before, so like everyone else had been like puppy love and stuff like this, but with that person it was just like, oh, shoot. Like I did see a life with him and like I thought I was going to be with him and my family had met him and like all those things you know. So like it was, it was really heavy and I just remember being like hurt, like physically like. I remember being brokenhearted and I remember it's just like I really physically hurt and I was like why does this feel like, this Like? And I don't remember any of the other ones feeling that way, but I remember that one specifically, just like hurting, and I was like what the heck? Why do I like physically hurt?
Speaker 1:Like this is not okay, but I read on Google that it's actually physically painful to break up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's an actual thing. What Like you can literally have an actual heartache, yeah. But you know what's sad is especially because you mentioned drinking that this is a coping mechanism for a lot of individuals. It's kind of normalized to like, oh, let's go drinking after a breakup to forget about it. I don't know if that's really helping. It's not.
Speaker 3:I feel like maybe it helps, like that first night. Like the first like week or two.
Speaker 2:Okay, how long were you drinking? I was drinking a lot.
Speaker 1:Like, not every day but I was like Partying a lot to try to like move on from this you know, to actually help. What did help was that I met friends and I got to party with my friends and then I kind of like put that in the back burner and I got distracted and was able to heal.
Speaker 3:For me, the worst was when I was going through a breakup and I would drink to like, forget it and have fun, and then it was back, think of it more and like, get sad, like no, this is not fun, you just will happen to me too.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh wait, now I'm going to start crying and feeling exactly when. I was sober I could hide it. I could hide it, I could forget about it because I was doing other stuff. Now that I'm drinking, now I'm hyper fixated on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's how you can think about it, and now I'm going to call him yes.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell him that I'm drunk and that I would like to see him. I've done that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think everybody's done that.
Speaker 3:Yeah unfortunately.
Speaker 1:What did you guys do to heal from a breakup?
Speaker 2:I just gave it a time. I tried to understand like, ok, what you went through, what you live with this person, was. It was fun, it was great. There was like rough moments, of course, but most of it was fun. So let's try to enjoy that, enjoy the good memories. But there was a reason why it ended, so just give yourself time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think before I would drink a lot.
Speaker 1:I think you've seen me drinking senia because I'm heartbroken, sad. We've, we've been there together, we've been through it together, drinking morelos. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Listen in to Los Ricanitos, yes.
Speaker 2:Emotionas.
Speaker 3:Emotionas. Yeah, I mean, hopefully now it's not, there's not that need to drink and try to just be more mature about the whole thing, because you know, unfortunately things happen and yeah, um, you know, I hope that you never wish anything bad upon another person and that's been my situation like I never have, but yeah, it's, it's definitely hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think for me, I just did like I used to listen to a lot of like tarot readers online and just like meditations, and like I would always try to get distracted, and I started hitting the gym more just kind of like focus on myself More than anything, to try to like refocus that negative energy that I was feeling into something that was more positive. Mm, hmm, and it wasn't easy, like I remember being like I don't want to go to the gym, I just want to be sad.
Speaker 1:But then it was just like at one point. It's like OK, you've been sad for however many weeks. Yes, you get tired of being sad, like how much more of this are you going to take, Because obviously that person's moved on and oh that's the worst part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so then it's like so you need to either move on or move on Like there's no other option at that point. And so I feel like for me it was always like all right, I'm going to give my body and my emotions some time to like go through it, and then I'm going to just dust myself off and get up and go. And that's what I did A lot of Chick-fil-X and ice cream did help a lot too.
Speaker 3:I think that helps. So, like setting a timeline, OK, for the next I don't know week or two weeks. I'll just allow myself to be sad and be whatever, and then after that, you know, I have to focus on myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think that's a good, a good thing to do, and I know, when you're going through it it's like so hard to see past that hurt, like it's so hard to be like in that space and be like tomorrow's going to be a better day, or I'm just going to give myself a couple of weeks because you're like just sad. You know like, but then it's like OK, I guess it's.
Speaker 2:OK to feel that, but yeah.
Speaker 1:And no but.
Speaker 2:I totally get it. I feel like I get too stuck on that feeling of like being sad and having my own pity party and not inviting anyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And party for one. Party for one. Party party for one.
Speaker 1:I love to invite people to those kinds of parties.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying I don't drink, but I feel like now that I'm older, yes, I'll give myself more of a timeline, ok, yes, it's OK to feel these feelings right now, but let's move on from them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that that's the thing with breakups right, like everybody does them so differently. And some people like how we start. Whenever I ended a relationship and the guys were just like I would see the guys around like nothing happened, I'd be like how do you do it to not care about people? You know like how do you do it to just walk around like nothing happened? And then later on in life it was like oh, just kidding, I miss you. It's like, oh, so you're healing differently than I was Got it.
Speaker 2:I don't know, man, for me it's like, oh, you never really cared and that helped, that has helped me go through it, like, okay, so you're not going through the same emotions that I am, that's fine. Okay, maybe they, like you said, they heal differently or they go through it differently. But if I don't see some sort of remorse or anything like that, then I feel like you never really cared, you never. You never really cared for my feelings either. So it's easier to let go for you and so, yes, it has.
Speaker 2:In those instances it was easier to overcome because I'm like, well, it hurts, but they never really cared about me. Still, let me move on as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or if they start another relationship. I think that makes it easier for me because I'm like, okay, there's no chance, Like that's not gonna move on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds so. It hasn't happened to me. That sounds so painful, I don't know. Yeah, but like at, that point.
Speaker 3:what am I going to do? Like, why somebody else? No, I'm not going to find somebody else for anyone, so like that's that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I would at this moment. I have not ever fought for anyone else because. I'm like no, physically, physically I don't fight physically. I'm a lover, not a fighter, just a word fighter.
Speaker 1:Just a word fighter, just an instigator. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is, that's the key.
Speaker 2:But no, I don't think anyone should ever fight for someone else for someone else's attention.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's how I feel. Do you guys feel like once you break up, you should remove that person from your life entirely, like social media and everything? Or do you think it depends on kind of like the situation Block?
Speaker 2:them, block them, block them.
Speaker 1:That one's hard for me yeah. Because I feel like I depends on how I did. It depends on so many things. But I think the healthy thing is honestly to just remove them from your life.
Speaker 3:You guys don't think you can be friends with the next.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 3:That was fast.
Speaker 1:There's too many feelings involved in intimacy.
Speaker 2:Yes, I feel like if there was intimacy involved, it doesn't have to be physical, it has to be like even just emotional. I think it's too much, there's too much left in there to you know, because I'm gonna, I myself I would always be like, oh, but what if this changes? You know, like I would have, it would give me some sort of hope. So I tried to remove that.
Speaker 3:That's interesting.
Speaker 1:Do you?
Speaker 3:think I mean, I think it depends on the situation. I think you can. I've had X's that I would want to be friends with again. I don't know, just friends, though. Are you friends, though, with X's, x's? I've talked to X's in a friendly manner.
Speaker 2:Oh, I haven't, I'm just kidding, I have. Yeah, because you know you got to that. I love doing this. You get to a point where you're like you're too nice and that bothers the other person, and I like that.
Speaker 1:So I'll be.
Speaker 2:I can't see you being too nice though I will be, but I do it just out of spite.
Speaker 3:So that's fulfilling for me Because like, yeah, like you are you missed out on, look how nice I am you missed out, and now I'm just doing it out of spite, so funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know I'm not a great person. You are. You are an awesome person.
Speaker 1:You're awesome Thanks. You guys are such good people. Because you guys were like I never wish anything bad upon anybody else Except for your X's you had different situations, but I wish my X's were not like your. X's. I didn't wish like super terrible things on them. Like the only thing I wished for was karma. That's fine. Like the only thing I said was I hope that these people get the treatment that they gave me one at one point in their life Like they know how it feels to be treated.
Speaker 3:So that they know how it feels.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's really. That's totally fine. And as for one of them.
Speaker 1:He did get the same treatment and he apologized to me for treating me that way. So I was like, oh, thank you. I felt really validated yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 2:I think it's totally okay to wish for quicker karma. I'm trying to be hit by a car, no no, no, I think equal treatment is just fine, but, like, sometimes it takes time, yeah, and so it's okay to wish for something to happen quicker, like, oh, can you please take care of it a little sooner, so I can see it.
Speaker 3:Can I say I don't wish him bad, but I don't wish him well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay you can be indifferent I yeah, very much indifferent to your X's.
Speaker 1:Sennia's X's. That's what fucking indifferent ones are.
Speaker 2:I mean at least the one that I know deserves hate. So no, anyways.
Speaker 1:Jerome can never be my X. Imagine hate from all of us. You're stuck forever. You better fake the nicest.
Speaker 2:I hope you saw that I was clutching onto the microphone.
Speaker 3:You better be.
Speaker 2:But we're so nice. Yeah, but we're like great individuals.
Speaker 1:We're such nice people.
Speaker 2:We would never wash wash. We would never wish bad on anyone Not wishing good either.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, just wish like neutral things Just quicker karma Quicker, make it quicker, like tomorrow.
Speaker 3:Please.
Speaker 1:Is there any advice you guys like wish you would have had while you were going through a breakup, like is there something that now you know but you didn't know then?
Speaker 2:at least from a younger self. I would have told her to accept it. You know, in a way, accept what happened instead of dwelling on it so much and affecting me so affecting it so much mentally on me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think the same. Maybe like be a little more mature about the whole thing. It's just so hard to think that they wouldn't want to be with me though.
Speaker 2:I don't understand that either. Like why?
Speaker 3:Like near perfect Keeps me up at night. It shouldn't. That's their loss.
Speaker 1:Nancy's exes. You're a loss, so you're lost.
Speaker 3:They're probably like a Dutch Dapulet.
Speaker 2:I think that was their sentiment with me.
Speaker 1:I think for me it was like a lot of just like I wish I could have told myself to not be so nice, you know, because I feel like I always tried to not be hurtful and be nice to people when they weren't being nice to me, and I wish that I could have been like mean, like I wish I could have been like not mean, but just like a little more firm boundaries, yeah, boundaries, and also just been like F.
Speaker 1:You like, you know like to their face instead of like later. So like I feel like I had a lot of like. You know, you have to be nice because at one point you really like them and you can't be this or you can't, you know just you just have to let it go, but I wish I could have been like. No, if you did.
Speaker 3:You're an asshole like but if you think about it now, and that was your karma, yeah, that's true exactly yeah, look at you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very happy, aren't you true?
Speaker 1:well, people are really gonna think I'm like holding it hopefully he's a happy house and I love he loves the attention. He said no to that one. Should we take a little break from this conversation to do a little fun segment or our favorite segment?
Speaker 3:favorite segment least favorite, favorite.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've heard from your guys's opinions and everyone else's opinions not everyone else's, but like it's a lot of people's favorite segment- yeah, like we're only basically doing the podcast because of this segment we leave it at the end, so they would listen to us first. I think we should go to some of that Diana's daily shit we're gonna change it up a bit what are we gonna talk about?
Speaker 1:what are you angry about today?
Speaker 2:I just wanted to talk about so in the Hispanic community, and maybe a lot of Caucasians individual know about this, but there's a group that went to Mexico, mexico, and they complained about the food, the noise and it's something like that.
Speaker 2:And so people were very offended, and you know what that's okay. It's okay to be offended, especially if you're offended about your culture, about our culture, yeah, but I think it and this is about, yeah, it's high Suicide, and but I think it's gotten to a point where, like, okay, they're being bullies, they're being bullies, like move on, yeah, like try to under, exactly, try to understand that these are kids. There might be the first time they've actually visited Mexico, yeah, and so they don't know what it's like. Yeah, I mean me, I love my cocaine bolsitas. I miss that.
Speaker 2:These are kids, these are kids that are finally moving out of their state, or not moving out, but like traveling outside of their state, traveling outside of the comfort zone, and they haven't been trained to publicly, publicly speak. And, yeah, it's unfortunate that they look very Mexican and they don't speak the language or fully speak the language, but it doesn't mean that people have to be mean about it. I would actually just blame their parents, but I wouldn't blame the kids because, I mean, did they have a choice of being born in the US?
Speaker 1:they most likely didn't when I think the thing people are forgetting. You said kids have no filter. Like that too.
Speaker 3:Kids like and they're so picky when it comes to food like yeah, like almost every kid I know is so big. They love chicken nuggets. That's all they love.
Speaker 1:Mexican kids from Mexico only eat chicken nuggets and burgers in the US yeah, when they were brought up here, yeah, or when they're brought up in Mexico, like there's places in Mexico, there's kids in Mexico don't like Mexican food, like yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't understand my nephew's Mexican. He only fries, and he doesn't eat spice either.
Speaker 3:See, like yeah, that's normal and yeah, they're kids, it's not a big deal yeah, they're just being bullies and they're super talented and they are super intelligent.
Speaker 2:So that's the. That's what kind of like is making me mad? Like, okay, that's fine, be mad about it. Be mad about it for like five minutes and they.
Speaker 3:I feel like they've now apologized, so we should be like okay, they probably learned the lesson.
Speaker 2:Like I bet think about what you say before you say it yeah, and yeah, let's move. It was a learning lesson for them and but like, let's let it be a learning lesson for us as well, to not be like, so I don't know. Offensive about it, bullies about it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that's the thing. Like you said, you can be offended by saying what they said but at the same time, like their kids like it's different than like a grown up saying it when they know better.
Speaker 2:Or you know, like they're, just when they've had more experience talking to exactly the press and yeah if you think about it, how many people probably lie about how they really feel? Yeah, because they just want to like put on a good face.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and they're actually being honest about. Yeah, they don't like the food. They don't like the food, it's fine, ok that's totally fine.
Speaker 1:So Our lives just turned on by themselves. So we're a little freaked out, you guys. We were like, oh, I have.
Speaker 2:But yes, and so I also want to say shout out to Banda and Mrs, because I think they're doing either they're helping you out or they're doing some type of collaboration. So I'm like, ok, shout out to them for actually helping them out. And I think I saw that they, banda, and I say I was losing a lot of followers because they were supporting these kids and I thought that was very stupid, as well, I feel like people are going to get, they're going to get over it and forget about it and everything's going to be fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're so talented.
Speaker 2:So let's all go and focus on music, yeah yeah, so shout out to them, keep listening to their music, don't worry about what anyone says and you're freaking chicken nuggets if you want to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or your fries only Are you, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And if you like it much, it was a little Valentina If you don't, that's really fine. But yeah, that's just my thing for today, just like OK, be offended for like five minutes and then let it go and don't be a bully. Don't be a bully, yeah, maybe for a little bit actually, but like just enough to get the point across and then that's it, drop it OK so like a little bully a little bully. I feel like no, I think it's OK. I personally think it's OK to bully people.
Speaker 3:I feel like it's OK. I feel like it's OK for people to state their opinions, and if you don't want to listen to the music anymore, that's fine. That's just fine. Don't be a bully at all.
Speaker 1:Not even a little bit Not even once it builds character. Wait, so that defeats the whole purpose of your life.
Speaker 2:No, but like just a little bit. Just a little bit, not like don't carry it on until it gets annoying or just obsessive. Got it? Yeah, figure it out, figure out the limit. Ok, that's on you, it depends, ok got it. Anyways, thank you for listening to my rant. Thank you.
Speaker 1:That was beautiful. You're welcome. Any closing thoughts on break up? What's the thinking about the bullying.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:Damn, I don't know, it's always difficult. I feel like we should try to focus on, you know, ways to make ourselves feel better, kind of remind ourselves why the situation ended or the relationship ended, and then, yeah, try to do things that make you happy. What you said before sitting like sitting on timeline, of how much you want to allow yourself to be sad and not do anything about it, I think that's OK too, but make sure it's not prolonged for so long that you're just miserable.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, allow yourself to feel those feelings, but don't get too stuck on them and find healthy coping mechanisms. Yeah, I mean, you know what, if you're going to have a fun night with drinking, make sure you're doing it with other people. You're being responsible about it and you're being responsible about it of course, and if you want to cry, cry. Oh yeah, definitely Let it out, let it out, let it out. Don't feel bad about it, I hate crying, but you do you. Don't tell me you would never cry for an ex.
Speaker 3:I've cried so many times, exactly.
Speaker 2:So it's OK to cry, yeah, except for Nancy, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everyone can cry at Nancy.
Speaker 2:And don't drink alone. Always drink with friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. That's true. The dark thoughts come when you're alone. Yeah, don't call your ex either. Don't. Yeah, don't text them, don't call them, block them, block them.
Speaker 2:I say so, and then, once you're at a good spot, you can unblock them, yeah, but give yourself some time to heal. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:That would be the reasoning for unblocking them after you feel better.
Speaker 1:So they can see how wonderful you are and what they missed out on so is that.
Speaker 3:Ding, ding, ding. You not thinking about it anymore, or are you thinking about it?
Speaker 2:That's you letting it go. You're not holding to the grudge of having them blocked anymore, you're indifferent about it now. Ok, so you're like you can see me doing better or you can ignore me, but I'm not going to block you. So from seeing that, because I'm going to look, but you know, I don't know. I feel like it also gives me at least myself, it gives me some satisfaction that they see that I'm doing better and that I'm OK, and that's that's why I get it.
Speaker 3:I'm a Diana.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but give yourself some like, some good time to heal. Find some good people yeah, find a good chick flick, some ice cream, try it out. The chick flick is an excuse if you need to. Yeah, exactly yeah. And then after that go to the gym and work on yourself and find some like self help books or podcasts or listen to Latina state of mind.
Speaker 2:What else would you be doing? And then you know, something better will come along. Exactly that's the first. That's the thing that we should really point out that something better will come along. It's not going to be immediately, though. No don't, yeah, exactly it's not going to be immediately because that's not how life works, right and that's true. It teaches you a lesson and it teaches it very harshly sometimes. Yeah, but anyways, yeah, that's what you should do, yeah.
Speaker 1:And if you have any advice or any better coping mechanisms on breakups, you should.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let us know. Let us know what movies you want or what you listen to.
Speaker 2:Actually, if you've ever done something destructive, please let us know.
Speaker 1:That would be amazing. Exactly, I just got chills.
Speaker 3:Maybe this should be our outro song.
Speaker 2:Can we get the right for that? We'll talk. Oh whoops, we were playing in the background.
Speaker 3:The neighbors were playing. The neighbors were playing we can't control it, we're not going to. We're not going to. We're not going to, we're not going to, we're not going to, we're not going to, we're not going to, we're not going to, we're not going to, but anyway we're not going to help you yeah, but yeah, share your breakup stories with us.
Speaker 2:We want to hear them.
Speaker 1:We would. We'd love to yes.
Speaker 2:I hope you guys have a good night.
Speaker 1:Love you, love you.
Speaker 3:Thank you for listening to Latina State of Mind Produced by us. Your awesome hosts, Diana, Senia and Nancy, Special shout out to Jerome, our editor. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at LSOM underscore podcast and on Facebook at Latina State of Mind. I ask for your comment.
