Latina State of Mind
Join our lively Latina trio as they dive into thought-provoking and relatable conversations on this episode of Latina State of Mind. From tackling tough and honest topics to just simply hanging out and having fun, you won't want to miss a minute of this episode. Listen in as they bring in special guests and professionals to provide guidance and insights, making this podcast a must-listen for anyone looking to broaden their perspectives and expand their knowledge. Tune in now for a fresh and exciting take on life, culture, and everything in between. Get ready to be inspired and entertained with Latina State of Mind.
Latina State of Mind
Bad Dates: Humorous Tales and Hard Lessons
Ready for a hilarious and insightful journey through the minefield that is dating? We've got you covered! This episode offers a refreshing and honest look at some of our most memorable (and cringe-worthy) dates. From the guy who couldn't resist asking if I was in the country legally to the one who thought it was a good idea to bring a friend along unannounced, we've got stories that will leave you laughing, nodding in agreement, or shaking your head in disbelief.
We're not just about the laughs, though. Through our stories, we tackle serious topics like red flags in dating, age gaps, and even the way someone speaks about their exes. One of us recalls an uncomfortable date with an older man who seemed more interested in flaunting his success than connecting on a meaningful level. Our stories highlight the importance of setting boundaries when dating and what we've learned about ourselves through these experiences. We even toss in a light-hearted debate about the implications of birth control and the hypothetical scenario of men getting pregnant.
Safety is an issue we feel strongly about, and we share our top tips for ensuring personal safety when dating. Whether it's having a trusted friend on standby or making sure you share your location, our advice could make your dating adventures more secure. We wrap up this episode with a reminder that amidst the laughter and the anecdotes, there are valuable lessons to be learned about setting boundaries and understanding ourselves better. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more candid conversations on life, love, and all things awkward.
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created by Latinas for all audiences, where we can share our experiences about love, life and everything in between.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone. Happy Saturday, hope we're having a wonderful day today and welcome to another Latina's State of Mind episode.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, you guys we have a little too much energy today, but we have a really fun topic.
Speaker 2:We always like to switch it up. Guess what this topic is about. Bad dates Be ones that we've been in, and if you ever considered being a bad date or if you have been a bad date, we're gonna look at ourselves as well. Self awareness.
Speaker 1:Okay, my question is have you guys had a bad date? Yes, you go first Me. Yeah, I want to know.
Speaker 2:Who would do that to you?
Speaker 3:Right, I feel like for the most part they've been good. I also have really bad memories, so I feel like if someone's not in my life anymore, I usually don't remember a lot of those stuff.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's. If they were not memorable, then it's whatever.
Speaker 3:I don't know if it's my body telling me you don't need to keep that in your head. But I do remember going on a date with a guy and I think we had been talking for a little bit and we decided to meet up and go to eat. And we went to eat and we were having, I think, an okay time just talking about stuff or whatever. And then he mentioned, or he asked me if I was legally in the country.
Speaker 3:Oh what Fuck that guy? And I was like, yes, and he made a comment and something else and we kept talking and then by the end of the day he was like, well, it looks like I'm gonna get my green papers now or my green card. And I was like, oh, that's, I'm out what. It was so weird. It was weird. That is weird yeah it was icky, but I think that was the only date I had with him. I hope Good she's like I hope. I'm pretty sure it was.
Speaker 3:It was a big turn off, I mean it's okay to talk about it, but not like that.
Speaker 2:Not when you're like pushing it away yeah, no, you can mention it like oh, yeah, I have student visa or whatever, this and that, but like don't say, oh, here's my green card.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's so weird? Yeah, it was weird.
Speaker 3:I was like, oh well, I guess I got a dinner out of it and you got no papers bro I'm out of fucking social media. Yeah, I think that's the one I can remember. That was like oh.
Speaker 2:Super memorable. Yeah, in a bad way. No, what about you guys?
Speaker 1:Yes, I have a couple. I think I have two that I can remember that were like icky.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, so the first one he showed up with his. We were going to go bowling, we went bowling, but he showed up with his best friend, okay what. He showed up with his best friend, or and or a friend, I'm not sure. I didn't say what. Yeah, it was just me and I thought it was just going to be him and I had no idea that this was going to happen. I had no knowledge that someone else was coming.
Speaker 1:I thought it was so weird.
Speaker 2:So is that like it has really weird right.
Speaker 3:That's never happened to me. Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:And so it was super awkward. He's looking. I'm sorry, jerome is like shock.
Speaker 1:He's shocked.
Speaker 2:He's shook it, shook it, shook it and, yeah, I don't know what was going through this guy's mind, but he showed up with his, he showed up with his with a buddy Bestie with his buddy, and so it was just me and these two other guys and it was extremely awkward and I did something terrible. I didn't do like too terrible, but we got our shoes or whatever, I can't remember Like we were about to start bowling, and so I went to the bathroom and I called my friend and I was like hey, are you having an issue right now? Are you having anything? Anything is going on in your life right now, or do you want to make something up, please?
Speaker 1:Like right now, yeah.
Speaker 2:So she, quote unquote, got a flat tire and I was the one that's going to help her and fix her Nice vehicle. So that's what happened, you know, I just I don't know where, I just had to leave.
Speaker 1:I would have left too, and I would have not even given him an explanation. I don't just know I grabbed my shoes and left.
Speaker 2:I can't remember. Oh, I remember now. I went to the bathroom, I talked to my friend. I went back to the lane and I was like, oh my gosh, my friend is in trouble. I have to go. Your actress. They didn't believe me I didn't give a fuck, though I was leaving, and so I went back to the to get my shoes and I left because I am a really good friend and I have to go help her out.
Speaker 3:That's weird. Was the friend nice? It looked like a good hangar. No.
Speaker 2:They. First of all, they were both awkward as fuck. I understand him being awkward because it was our first date.
Speaker 1:But why would you bring your friend?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I don't understand that. Excuse me To the man in the room shaking his head he doesn't understand you.
Speaker 3:He doesn't understand that Would you ever? I mean not to a date like that. No, and unless you have like a double date and you're talking to somebody and you're meeting someone there, but with a group that it's different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like what did he think I was going to do? Kill him? No, he was a fun little girl. Is that where your mind went? I don't know. I'm just generally confused, like why would you bring a friend to your first date? Emotional support.
Speaker 1:Maybe he was an social, maybe an anxious person.
Speaker 3:Maybe he was anxiety.
Speaker 2:But he should have said something. Yeah, exactly, he surprised me with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe he would have. He should have said like hey, let's bring a friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:And I said no that type of date. Bring your friend for emotional support.
Speaker 1:Bring your emotional support friend to the date. That's cute, no.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding. If they would have been communication about this, most likely I would have been like, okay, that's fine, but this, I had not heard of this at all. And so that happened and, yeah, I left and I never spoke to him again. Yeah, I mean it's his fault for doing that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I had two really awkward dates. So the first one I met this guy on one of the dating apps and he was like oh, I love salsa dancing and this and this and I just love it. And I was like, oh, cool, like I love it too. And we went to a place here that does like salsa dancing and we went to go have a margarita first and I met like we were down there and there was one of my co workers there and she's really pretty, and we sat down and they served us our drinks and for some reason I owed her a drink and so I was like I got your drink and he was like mine and I was like no, hers. And he was like but you should get mine too. And I was like what, I don't know, you like that? And I was like we're on our first date, bro, like what are you talking about? And so like she didn't know what was going on and she was like maybe you should get our drinks and he was like ha, no. And then I paid for her and I for our drinks.
Speaker 1:And then, like after that he kept like having conversation with her, like just kind of flirting with her, and I was like this is just really awkward, should I be like? And I could tell that she felt awkward and she was like I'm gonna see you guys later. And then we went up to the to the second floor to dance and he spent me really fast and dropped me and then I was just like okay. And then he picked me up and he's like, well, you're terrible at this. And I was like I think you're the terrible one because this has never happened before. And so he was like well, how do you know that girl? And like trying to get more information about my friend, and I was like I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I just left.
Speaker 2:Did you ever hear from them again? No, yeah, no, but it was just awkward.
Speaker 1:He was like an older guy and I remember that I didn't trust him very well because I remember him being like oh, I own this company and I own this and I own that, and you know like he was just like bragging about how good, and I was like if you own your own company, why would you want me to pay for your drink?
Speaker 2:With a low life. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:So then I've obviously never talked to that guy again. And then I met another guy on another app.
Speaker 1:And he him and I got like hit it off so well, like we would talk all the time and I was like really excited about him and he was like it seemed like he was really excited about me. He was like, would you go on a date with me? And I was like, yeah, like that would be so much fun. And I just remember like being so excited because he was like a really genuinely nice guy. We had a great conversation throughout the night. It was it was really good. And then we started talking for some reason, about religion and I told him that I had grown up Mormon and he was like no, and I was like what? And he's like I can do that. He said for those reasons, I'm out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like basically, and I was like what? And he had literally just bought me ice cream at McDonald's and he's like I'm gonna go. And he just like left me there. Are you just sitting there with my ice cream?
Speaker 1:And I was like what just happened, like I was so confused and like he was like no, I can't. And I he just like no explanation. Like he could have said something like hey, there's trauma in my life about Mormons, or I don't believe in that. Or like something he just said no, I can't. And walked away.
Speaker 2:I was like oh, you said I grew up Mormon.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't say.
Speaker 1:I am Mormon. Yeah, it was super awkward and I just remember being like. I think it's because I'm fat. I just like took it in a different direction. And then I got home and I was like Whoa, like that was so weird. And then I texted him and I was like what happened? And he never texted me back. No, explanation.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm sorry if that guy went through. I'm sure it's a relationship with relationship.
Speaker 1:I'm sure it's something traumatic and I felt bad at one point but he should have said something. Yeah, it was super awkward.
Speaker 2:Because I feel like you could have bonded over, you know.
Speaker 1:Our religious trauma.
Speaker 2:Yeah the faults that the religion has?
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, has that ever happened to you guys, when you're on a date and they say something and you're like oh, this is my cutie, leave, uh-huh?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:What was it yeah?
Speaker 1:yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:The second, this other date that I went to, and you know what this brings up a point this date he was also an older man and he'd never been married and I knew that should have been a red flag. Because why does? I'm sorry to say this, but like, why does no one want to? Like I could understand, why does no one want you? Maybe like a divorce, but like a 45 plus year old man, never been married. He was older than that, but I'm not going to say he's actually age.
Speaker 3:Is that your demographic?
Speaker 1:Her demographic is very wide.
Speaker 2:Yes, actually that's true, it's ever changing 22 to 50.
Speaker 1:No, I don't like him younger than me. Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not that kind of person.
Speaker 2:No, no, you know what? Yeah, never change. Well, maybe I should change it up. Yeah, and that's a good point. But yes, this guy older person, and you said he was 65? No, I'm after that retirement money.
Speaker 3:I didn't see that A year for a one K.
Speaker 1:Show me the 401K and we're talk Hell yeah, but OK, so first, first red flag.
Speaker 2:I got there it was a great bar actually and I wish I could remember the name of it. It was out in Denver. But he ordered for me and I was like, what Red flag?
Speaker 1:Nope, don't order for me.
Speaker 2:And so we were at a Martini place and I think this is so tacky. But he was like put all the olives that you can on the pick. You know, usually it's supposed to have like three or like an odd number, because supposedly like even amount of olives is bad luck, supposedly I'm not sure but he was like put as many olives as you can on the pick. And I was like no, I'm stucky.
Speaker 2:Just let them prepare how it's supposed to be prepared. That was another one First of all ordering and then making that comment. I don't know. To me it was like a red flag. And then finally, I still stuck through it. He was talking a lot, whatever, no big deal. I was after the 401k.
Speaker 2:I can you know, I'll say that that's fine. I knew it. We were walking around the city and in one of those moments he said I could just kidnap you right now. And I was like what? He's like, yeah, I could just take you right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, let's just give you chills. Exactly that's creepy.
Speaker 2:Imagine hearing it and then it was kind of late-ish at night and it just like threw me off and I was like oh, this is my cuticle. You just said ready and no, no, but pepper spray. I kept it together. I kept it together so I could get to my car safely.
Speaker 1:OK, I'm going to stop you there and say don't keep it together. If you ever feel threatened by any man or any person in general, and you have that feeling when your body is telling you something's not right, don't be polite. No, polite is not going to save your life.
Speaker 3:Just go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's weird. That was pretty weird. So my reaction at the moment was to keep it together, and just until I could get to my vehicle and just leave. But you're right, completely right, don't keep it together, just say something. Yeah, walk away.
Speaker 3:Unless, I guess, you feel like you could be in danger, then I understand that. Assess the situation.
Speaker 2:But you're right.
Speaker 3:Don't be polite.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't be polite, don't be polite. But yes, I got to my vehicle. He asked for a kiss and I was like mm.
Speaker 3:That's creepy.
Speaker 2:Disgusting. And you know what I gave him a little peck, you did. Yeah, unfortunately.
Speaker 3:I'm not touching you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, and that was it.
Speaker 3:I think I texted him Turn around and lift this walker.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got a walker. It's a walker, it's a walker, it's a walker, it's a walker. It's a walker it's a walker, it's a walker, it's a walker. But you know what? That's all right, I let him go. Oh my gosh, I'm fine. I'm fine, I know. Yeah, he was. I mean, he's pretty close, I'm just kidding. But yeah, that's what happened. And I texted him, but it was basically like I'm never going to see you again, sort of text. Yeah, that's wild.
Speaker 2:I know, my bad date story went everywhere. I know it's great, oh gosh, and I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:You were going to say another one. Another one was your date. Oh no, my, I went to US If we had something that we knew like.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, like when you were on your date, you were like uh no, this is not going to work.
Speaker 1:Okay, mine was. I got set up on a blind date with this guy and he showed up in gym shorts Like dirty when, excuse me, where was the date we were going to go to dinner to um?
Speaker 2:As soon as you said dinner, I'm like oh, Carrabbas, or something like that.
Speaker 1:Italian place.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:But still, yeah, like full on gym shorts, like Like gym shorts and like some raggedy ass t-shirt. I put on makeup for this date. I put on perfume I picked out my next, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Exactly Like you couldn't at least wear jeans? Yeah, like a little effort is nice yeah.
Speaker 1:And your shirt smell like you didn't dry it all the way and you just like put it away. It's like musty, yeah, so.
Speaker 2:I was like, sorry, she's very familiar with this.
Speaker 3:She almost threw up. I know, I know.
Speaker 2:I'm stuck over here, no.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:I'm not used to that smell. I'm just kidding, anyway, but yeah, so I'm not used to that smell. I'm just kidding, anyway, but yeah.
Speaker 1:So I did get free dinner out of it, okay. And then I was like I'm tired, I'm going to go. Bye, have a good night.
Speaker 3:Bye, you're ready for bed.
Speaker 1:No, I felt like I was disrespectful. Maybe he was going to the gym after. Maybe I was going to the gym after and I still dressed up. Yes, exactly. What a weirdo. Oh man, how about you?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I don't think I had a lot of like only one date and then nothing happened. She was like I'm so perfect Everyone loves me so much.
Speaker 1:Everybody should love at the top of their game for me.
Speaker 3:I'm wondering if I was the bad date for anyone but I don't think so. I do remember, though, one time I went on a date with a girl our first date and we met at a bar and it was cool, and then we were going back to the car. We rode in those bikes where someone's pulling the front door and she kept trying to take a picture of us and I just didn't want to and I think we were going to hang out. But she got mad at me because I said no, what?
Speaker 1:And she was like yeah, but that's weird to take a picture with somebody on the first date.
Speaker 3:It was odd yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I did date her for a while. She likes red flags.
Speaker 3:It was a bad experience, but yeah, I should have known. Like this is weird Red flags. She got really upset. She didn't want to hang out with me afterwards and then she reached out. It was like I'm being stupid it was weird, it was weird, that is weird, I didn't want to picture you?
Speaker 2:I mean it's understandable. Yeah, do you think you've ever been a bad date?
Speaker 1:No, I don't think so I mean. I guess I was to that guy because I told him I was Mormon. How dare you yeah.
Speaker 3:How dare you go? To Mormon how dare you go to church?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, because I've always dressed up. I've always looked good, I've always tried.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I tried yeah.
Speaker 2:I've always tried, so no, I can't consider myself a bad date, because I always try.
Speaker 3:I wonder if I ever was maybe too quiet. But then now that I think about it I'm like maybe I wasn't really interested. Maybe, but I can see that happening.
Speaker 2:A little bit of shyness is completely understandable. I mean, all right, I always try to be extra friendly.
Speaker 1:Just to break that awkward silence.
Speaker 3:I hate that.
Speaker 1:So no, I'm not a bad date.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not a bad date either. Why I'm not married? I have no fucking clue, yeah.
Speaker 1:No pressure.
Speaker 2:No pressure, no comment, yeah, none. How about do you ever regret a date because the relationship was bad?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, that date that I talked about, that one, that one for sure Gosh, I have this one.
Speaker 2:I wish I would have never been on that date, because then that man dragged me along for so long and to a point I got, to a point that I was like I wish I would have never met you. I wish I would have never been on that date, but that's just that hurt me talking.
Speaker 1:For a really long time. For a really really long time, I regretted the person I dated before my husband. Like I was like fuck that guy, I hate him, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:All those things right, Because he did drag me along, he played with my feelings, he all those things. But today I can say, eh, I needed that experience Because I was a different person before him and I think if I were to come to my husband now the person I was before this guy, our relationship would have not worked out. So I needed to go through that weird hurt and weird growth to be in a better place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what it's a good way to look at it. I understand that, because now I'm grateful, because you're right, I learned to kind of advocate for myself more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, then you learn your boundaries.
Speaker 2:Yes, that and you're like OK, if I am going to get, at least now, I'm like, if I'm going to be in a relationship, it's going to be full on or full off. Exactly no halves, no in-betweens, and you're right, shout out to that man.
Speaker 1:I mean still fuck you a little, but a lot no definitely Fuck you a lot. Yeah For true love, but thanks, but thanks, because I learned more about myself oh man, you guys, where do you think it's a bad date place to go to?
Speaker 3:Where would you be like a? I don't want to go there for first date.
Speaker 1:I don't think there's such thing as a bad date place. I think with the right person you can have some. The shittiest place can be a really good date.
Speaker 2:You know now, I used to be a dinner kind of girl, like you have to take them out to dinner. Now, more of a like coffee or drink or like something small, kind of like to see what kind of individual you are, yeah, that's fine. Because I don't want to spend a whole dinner and like have a conversation with you, not everyone invests too much time. You know why I don't I think coffee is a good idea.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Like I have a lot going on in my life. I need to like kind of check it out first before.
Speaker 1:I get coffee or a drink and or a drink.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a small bite sort of thing, but I don't know, just to kind of gauge the other person. So like a date before the date type of thing, yeah, exactly Because then you'll be I don't know, I think you'll maybe more excited to go on the second date. Yeah, because you're like. Ok, now I'm spending more time with this individual.
Speaker 1:And I actually like this person.
Speaker 3:Or if things go well, then you can extend the date. That's true. That hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 2:But, I was hoping, I was still hoping.
Speaker 1:Four hours long, right Wow.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's cute, that is really cute.
Speaker 2:You guys actually liked each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, A lot, let's be honest. But our first actual date was over FaceTime because it was during COVID. So I remember he suggested it and I was like sir. I'm not going to cyber sex with you on our first date. I love that.
Speaker 3:That's the first thing that you thought that was the first thing I thought about.
Speaker 1:And then he was like no, netflix can do these share screen movie thing and we can watch a movie at the same time. And I was like, ok, and I remember being so nervous and I was like, ok, wear a nice shirt, hide your body, make sure he doesn't see all your flaws. And then he was like, should I send you some popcorn or something? And I was like, oh no, he's going to know my address.
Speaker 3:No, it's.
Speaker 1:OK, I'll get my own ice cream. So then I remember being so nervous and I had told everybody that I was going to have a cyber date.
Speaker 2:Cyber sex date.
Speaker 3:Yeah, cyber sex date.
Speaker 1:And then we watched a. What movie was it?
Speaker 2:She was her favorite little joint for Netflix.
Speaker 1:For the Netflix oh are we Was it talking, stop talking. My mother-in-law assisted me.
Speaker 2:Oh, so sorry, no, just kidding Anyway she's wearing lingerie For her cyber date Cyber sex date.
Speaker 1:We watched a scary movie. It was kind of lame and scary all at the same time. He's offended. It was some texting movie remember, so I don't remember what it's called.
Speaker 2:He's not going to say my name, you are not forgiven for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry, clearly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not a great movie.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but yeah. Then we used to just hang out on FaceTime all the time. I love that. That's cute yeah.
Speaker 2:That reminded me of another bad day.
Speaker 1:OK, share yeah tell us.
Speaker 2:We went to the movies and I've never been on a date to a movie like a third date to a movie. Ok, Because he fell asleep.
Speaker 1:He was probably tired, he probably was, and I understand that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, true, and that's fine, but I just looked over and he was out. He's out snoring out oh. Did you just get up and leave? What did I do? I think I finished the movie. I mean, I don't know. I waited for him to wake up. I pretended like I didn't see, Like oh my gosh the movie. I was just looking sideways to see if he was awake Try and push him a little bit.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I was just putting my jacket on.
Speaker 2:And we did leave together, but I don't think I ever spoke to him again.
Speaker 3:no, yeah, he's probably tired yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, well, so funny. So now the first date's.
Speaker 1:No movies, no movies.
Speaker 3:That's like a hard place for a first date, because you can't really talk to them?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get to. That's just the name of them, Like that's a good.
Speaker 3:Second, third date date.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I agree, but a first one that's interesting. Ok, no movie dates.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no movie dates. So, yeah, that's another bad date that I had. It wasn't that bad, but still.
Speaker 1:No movies.
Speaker 3:No movies either.
Speaker 1:Interesting, interesting.
Speaker 2:I can't believe you haven't had any bad dates, I mean the one that I told you guys about.
Speaker 3:That's the only one I know One I keep remembering.
Speaker 1:You guys keep mentioning stuff and then you keep thinking about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I really can't remember. I'm sure I have, but, like I said, my brain does not keep that.
Speaker 2:Because it wasn't memorable enough, they weren't as important. It's not, it was traumatic.
Speaker 3:It's just not necessary in my life.
Speaker 1:Necessary information.
Speaker 2:Your brain was like we're not filing this yeah.
Speaker 3:Toss it Trash.
Speaker 2:Oh, she said trash. If you've ever been on a date with Nancy, guess what.
Speaker 3:No, please.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:The next, just give it to yourself.
Speaker 1:It's all good. If you've ever been on a date with Nancy, send us a message.
Speaker 2:It's your stories we want to share your stories.
Speaker 1:Leave a comment. That'd be cool. Leave a comment.
Speaker 2:Send us a DM. We will not share your information. No names will be shared.
Speaker 1:We'll just experience it, we just want to know, Because I mean we're just going to know how great it was for you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I mean, ok, if that's what you think. Anyways, gosh, what else I'm trying to think of any other date? I've been not going to lie. I've been on a lot of dates, but I can't remember them all.
Speaker 3:I didn't go on a lot of dates. No, do you guys feel like finding dates on apps is a good option Sometimes? Yeah, I don't think it's horrible, or it wasn't when I was using them.
Speaker 2:No See, when I was younger I had less, not expectations, but I guess standards I'm not coming for you today, I promise I'd sound like she is.
Speaker 3:I know right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought we were together in this, no, but I didn't care much about education or job or just overall mental health and being a good human being.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Being a decent human being. I didn't care about that as much, but now I do. So now I go on less dates.
Speaker 1:That makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But when you guys were doing, when you go on dates, is there a question that you must ask?
Speaker 2:There's not a question question, but I do like to know what you're for a 1K. Well before that, I like to know about your relationship with your parents and or mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's a good one. I don't directly ask, but I'll bring it up somehow. I'll bring up my family and be like oh, I like my parents, Do you? Because I think especially it's important to like your mom, or at least well, actually let me take that back. If you have a relationship with your mom, have a good relationship with your mom, yeah. But if you show kind of like hate, I'm not into that. You can be indifferent, but I don't think you should be hateful. So that's one of the things. And then I'll ask about your retirement plans.
Speaker 3:I dated someone who called her mama a bitch, and I dated them for a while. Damn it, nancy. I should have known, you should have known I was so young though.
Speaker 2:OK, yeah, exactly. Yeah, you learned that with age. That's what happened to me as well.
Speaker 1:I want to know how these people talk about their exes.
Speaker 2:Ew, that's a red flag to me. No, because OK, sure, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing when somebody talks shit about an ex and they're like, oh, this person was crazy, this person is blah, blah, blah. That's telling you only their side of their story but when somebody's like oh yeah, I didn't work out, like they have nothing to say, Like they grew they, whatever happened, happened. But when a man or when anybody trashes another person, that tells you a lot about their character and who they are and how they're going to talk about you. That's a good point actually.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:I obviously don't want to hear it on the first date, but I learned to pay attention to that Cues. That's important yeah.
Speaker 2:No, See the reason I don't like to hear anything about exes. It's important. Neither trash or like, for I guess I don't know, Like never during that relationship.
Speaker 3:No yeah, I.
Speaker 2:Really, I I don't know if it's jealousy, I'm not sure, but I just I'm not interested in you thinking about that other individual at all.
Speaker 1:I think for me it's move on.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of like your experiences. It's a lot of your experiences and how you dealt with those people, because then you, I feel like you learn a lot about People and how they deal with others. Like I dated men. They're like, oh, she was crazy and this and this, and blah, blah, blah and my ex this. And then, once we were done, they were talking the same kind of shit about me and I wasn't the crazy one. They were the crazy ones. Yeah, and that's your side of the story, exactly. But my husband was married before me and now once has he ever said anything bad about his ex-wife, like not once has he Called her a bad name, like didn't work out, and like he doesn't need to go into details and he's respectful to her because they were together for however long, and you know, like I think that's important.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't care if they have an opinion. I think, yeah, I've. They're trashing every one of their exes and it's a sign that, yeah, they're the problem. But yeah, it's weird. I want to know everything. Hmm and I hate it.
Speaker 2:And it hurts me, but like you, like it at the same time.
Speaker 3:I hate it, but I want to know more.
Speaker 1:But I'm the cello. Sign this groove, I'm.
Speaker 3:Another level unlocked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to hear it. I do understand your perspective of getting to know them and how they think about the other person, but I don't.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't want to hear details either. I don't, I don't like, I don't like anybody. You dated before me. She's like wait, I'm not no.
Speaker 2:Opposite sides. You're like, yes, I want to know everything and I'm over here, like no, I'm in the middle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:No, no yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are we up to next, nancy?
Speaker 3:I think that's it. Yeah, I think we're done. Have a good night. Yeah, I totally hate it. What?
Speaker 2:prefer to be called an asshole in a butt cheek. Oh my gosh, we're gonna switch it up just a Tunze bit. Who in this room has taken birth? I just have a problem with it. No, I'm sorry, I don't have a problem with both control, please take your birth control. Exactly, I am pro birth control. Learn about it.
Speaker 3:La, la, la, whatever.
Speaker 2:I just have an issue whenever that there's no, at least as of now there's not a whole lot of options for women, you know, there's only certain options for women and there are even less options for men. Yeah, and I think this should fall in the responsibility of the man, at least, at least from now on. I have you guys seen I've taken the pill form have you guys seen the sheet that comes with the side effects? The side effects exactly? It's a poster. Yep, it's like literally a book is the size of a poster and it's tiny, tiny, tiny hand, not handwriting, but typed letters.
Speaker 2:It's a little bit of a fun, yeah, whatever. Anyways, I'm just we have to go through so much. Yeah, the birth control has changed my body and I'm still trying to recover from it. I've been off of it for quite a bit and the first few months it was it was very difficult. It was very difficult. Control sucks. Yeah, exactly, can men please live a little bit of this, and you know what would happen, though it pissed me off.
Speaker 2:It would be legal. First of all, abortion would be legal If men could get pregnant. If men could get pregnant, there would be so many options for birth control and they wouldn't affect their hormones as much as they do now. That's pissed me off.
Speaker 3:I'm mad. It's crazy because as a woman, you can get pregnant and then you can't get pregnant again for nine months, whereas a man can get someone pregnant. Every single day, multiple times a day, multiple times a day If they can yeah, but it makes no sense, like, why isn't that what we're trying?
Speaker 2:to stop Exactly. Why are we not paying attention to that?
Speaker 1:You know what makes me really mad I'm enjoying this range when there's like a couple that are like together and have a life, and then the woman gives birth and the man refuses to get their vasectomy. Like, excuse me, sir, she just gave birth to your children, she just took birth control, she breastfed them, she pushed them out of her body and you cannot get a little nip on your body to help your wife out so that she doesn't have to deal with the stupid side effects of birth control Selfish?
Speaker 2:Extremely. We need to take down the patriarch I held on to that microphone. Real well, bring it down. I'm just kidding. We just need to share a little bit more, but anyways, I'm mad about that, no.
Speaker 1:And honestly the way. So I was first put on birth control. Because of something called PCOS that I have, my periods were like months long sometimes.
Speaker 2:It's like a irregular hormone thing. I don't know about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a weird thing, but I was put on them when I was a teenager.
Speaker 1:I remember being like something's not right, like I was suicidal, like my hormones were out of control, like I just remember being in a weird dark place and I didn't understand why, and like I've always been like a pretty happy, go lucky kid, like I was. I'd never felt like that before and once I got off of it I was like, oh, I was back to my normal self. And then I recently had a little surgery and I was put on birth control before it and I just remember just being miserable and feeling terrible and like birth control sucks.
Speaker 1:No matter what form of it, it sucks.
Speaker 2:Like all of it. I had the next one on and I got depression. It's the same thing. I was always. You know I wasn't the happiest kid, but I wasn't a depressive kid either, and I got depression after that and it was a very dark place.
Speaker 1:And you gained so much weight. That, too, like we all gained so much weight with birth control.
Speaker 2:And I mean, at least I didn't have a kid.
Speaker 3:But it's not even 100%. Exactly, that's the thing.
Speaker 2:It's like a 99, if even a 99,.
Speaker 3:I'm not even sure what it?
Speaker 2:is, but it's not even a sure thing, and at least I didn't have a child. But damn did I suffer so yeah.
Speaker 1:What do we do? I don't know, make man do it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it makes, no sense it really does Like biologically because of how things work. Yes, it makes no sense.
Speaker 2:Going back to your point, a woman can get pregnant once a year, get retake and, like you said, a man can have multiple. It makes no sense. Who do we call? I wanna say Obama, Michelle where are you?
Speaker 3:Michelle.
Speaker 1:Michelle Obama.
Speaker 2:We miss you. Can you be our president next? Thank you, she wouldn't.
Speaker 1:No, no. Can you believe that she's too good for that? She is too good for that.
Speaker 2:Anyways, that's my daily shift for today.
Speaker 1:I like your daily shift.
Speaker 2:Stupid men.
Speaker 1:Hahaha. Anyways, thank you. Any closing thoughts on our bad dates?
Speaker 2:Look at the red flags. Look at the red flags. Yeah, they'll be there right in front, right at the beginning.
Speaker 1:Don't be polite. If you don't want to be in the date, you can go, yeah.
Speaker 3:You're welcome for being part of your experience, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:She said you're welcome for being a great date to you, but if you want a great date to her, yeah, lose, yourself Hahaha.
Speaker 1:And go on lots of dates and have a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't take it too seriously, but be safe.
Speaker 3:Yeah, please be safe Share your location with a friend or a family member.
Speaker 1:I have made Diana share her location with me.
Speaker 2:Oh good, and now after that I also shared to make sure, like profile pictures and stuff like that yeah, she always sends me if she's going on a date.
Speaker 1:She always sends me a picture and a name.
Speaker 2:Someone will go down if something happens to me.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, I'll make sure of that.
Speaker 2:But yes, have that supportive, friend. Yes, hahaha.
Speaker 1:And have fun Hahaha. Most importantly, and thank you for listening.
Speaker 2:Thank you, love you, love you.
Speaker 3:Hahaha.
Speaker 1:I think Nancy had it for you, this whole episode. I know.
Speaker 3:Thank you for listening to Latina State of Mind produced by us, your awesome hosts, diana Senia and Nancy. Special shout out to Jerome, our editor. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at LSOM underscore podcast and on Facebook at Latina State of Mind. Hasta la próxima.
