Latina State of Mind
Join our lively Latina trio as they dive into thought-provoking and relatable conversations on this episode of Latina State of Mind. From tackling tough and honest topics to just simply hanging out and having fun, you won't want to miss a minute of this episode. Listen in as they bring in special guests and professionals to provide guidance and insights, making this podcast a must-listen for anyone looking to broaden their perspectives and expand their knowledge. Tune in now for a fresh and exciting take on life, culture, and everything in between. Get ready to be inspired and entertained with Latina State of Mind.
Latina State of Mind
Embracing Our Curves: The Latina State of Mind on Body Image and Self-Love
Ever stumbled during a candid confession about your weight? That's exactly how we begin this heart-to-heart on the struggles and triumphs of personal body image journeys. Join us as we peel back the curtain on the societal and familial pressures that sculpt our self-perception from a tender age. Embark on a candid exploration through our past experiences, where hurtful remarks from loved ones and society's infatuation with a singular body type have left lasting impressions. Together, we challenge the detrimental belief that beauty comes in a one-size-fits-all package, advocating for a celebration of the unique shapes we embody and the convoluted path toward self-appreciation.
Grappling with ever-evolving beauty standards is like chasing a mirage, always just out of reach. We share our personal battles with weight loss ambitions amidst a culture enthralled by celebrity transformations and the unspoken realities of pursuing such drastic changes without a squad of professionals at our disposal. The conversation meanders through the controversial terrains of nudist beaches, piercing the veil of whether it's a statement of body positivity or an act of exhibitionism. We confide in our own aspirations, the arduous journey to fulfilling them, and the profound insecurities that drive these desires, offering a space where our vulnerabilities are not only voiced but also embraced.
Concluding our session, we unsparingly confront the stigmas and stereotypes tied to body weight and health. Through tales of personal endeavors in fitness activities like hiking and CrossFit, we shatter the myth that one's size is indicative of their health or vitality. We open up about the intricate factors that influence weight, from genetics to mental health, and stress the injustice of judging by appearances alone. Our talk culminates with a reflection on how these insecurities ripple through our romantic lives and the crucial practice of nurturing and honoring our bodies from a place of love. As we draw the curtain on this episode, we leave you with an invitation to continue these profound discussions with us, your Latina State of Mind familia.
This is Latina's State of Mind, a podcast created by Latinas for all audiences, where we can share our experiences about love, life and everything in between.
Speaker 2:Welcome back. Hello, this is Latina's State of Mind and once again bringing your joy. Sorry, I was going to say this is Latina's Daily Shits.
Speaker 3:We're not there yet. Hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1:We'll get there, we'll get there.
Speaker 2:I'll rile up my horses. What Anyway, so much fun Second season.
Speaker 3:Here we go.
Speaker 2:I hope everyone's excited for today's topic.
Speaker 3:What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:It's a serious one, never mind, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Tell us about it. I'm excited about it. Okay, yeah, we'll make it fun.
Speaker 2:Anyways, we're going to be talking about weight loss.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's a difficult topic.
Speaker 3:But we'll do our best to cover it the best way we can, something that we hear about a lot, especially at the beginning of the year, so very, you know, timely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I haven't. Well, I haven't heard it, but I mean it's always a constant reminder on social media because that's where we usually are now Of like all of these fad diets and equipment and what's it called them, kind of like training exercises and all of these things. There's always so much pressure to lose weight. What you guys have experienced with this.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I feel like I'm excited about this topic because it's something that I have dealt with my entire life, technically, like since becoming a teenager, and like being aware of my body, like weight loss has always been a thing for me, like it's somebody has always.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I feel like it's more of like someone made you aware of your body Right.
Speaker 1:Right, like somebody made me aware of my body and made a comment.
Speaker 1:And how it wasn't the body that I should, that everybody should wear. And then that made me think well, I need to lose weight and I've gone through so many links to lose weight and to to fit into that mold that doesn't even belong to me, like I didn't even know what a perfect body was. And now I understand that the perfect body is the body I have and I'm in Right. It's just been such a like for me such a heavy topic and such a rough conversation, and it's just been a lot.
Speaker 3:Do you remember what one of the first things that you heard was when you were younger?
Speaker 1:I think it comes from your parents. Definitely, it always comes from your parents and you know, and and the people around you, always saying how fat they are and how they so, and so is gain weight.
Speaker 3:Or even I think, like even making comments, to like oh, you would look prettier if you were scared. Oh, like saying in such a nice way but hurting you so much yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I you know, in our culture, like so bad about talking about other people's bodies or the way they talk about, like if one of their friends would gain weight or one of their friends. I don't know anything. I remember hearing it's that in Gorda, like she's really fat or he's really fat, or. Oh my gosh, I can't believe they're like so fat. You know, and I remember being like All right, so the goal is to not be fat, got it?
Speaker 2:I think for me I first started hearing it. It wasn't directly from my parents, but it was comments that other family members made to them about me, and so they yeah. And so they started telling me and like they still were very cautious about it. But I had family members tell them like, oh, like. Exact same comment. Like, oh, she would look better if she was skinnier. If she would, she would look better in this outfit If there was this and that. Why does that anger me?
Speaker 1:so much.
Speaker 2:It's terrible.
Speaker 1:It's hurtful, it's very hurtful, and I can.
Speaker 2:Maybe my parents hurt my parents as well, and so they had to do it. Not they don't have to do it, but they were felt pressured to mention it as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I remember one time a family member said something about that I would look better and my kids sing it a dress if I would lose weight. Yeah, and my mom? This time my mom got mad at these individuals and she was like no, you stop that. Yeah, I can't. I don't know exactly. She never told me the full details of the conversation because I mean, she was going to spare me of them. Um, but she was like this is, first of all, I wasn't heavy.
Speaker 1:No no.
Speaker 2:I was. I was skinny. No, Was I heavy? I wasn't, I wasn't. But these individuals had this perspective of me and like how I would supposedly look better in my kids sing and address because I would have lost weight, if I would have lost weight at 15 years old. I was, it was 14.
Speaker 3:Ridiculous, it was 14. Ridiculous For my kids sing and I yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I don't think my body was fully formed at that age.
Speaker 3:Yeah, You're not even developed. No, like fully developed. Yeah right.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's the time where most people hear something about their body and how they look.
Speaker 3:Is that like 15,?
Speaker 1:14, when you're, when you're a teen, and your hormones are not where they need to be and you still have a little bit of baby fat or not, or you know, like exactly.
Speaker 2:Cause like at least puberty, for every girl is so different, so different. And it's honestly changing as a whole itself through each generation. So, even then, old ideas are not fitting with current ideas, cause it's you know, our environment is changing us and I mean, and all of these old ideas are still being pushed on us when it's not the reality anymore, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:And then you become so. I feel like for me I was so hard on myself, like I literally was like a size nine or 10 and that's like average, it's totally average. But I felt like the biggest walk in cow on the planet, like I remember just being like don't look at me, I would wear baggy clothes and I would always like hide my belly Didn't have a belly to hide Like I didn't really like I was just built a little different, like my bones are not heavier, but like I'm built a little different, like I'm not meant to be a hundred pounds, like that's not how I was built.
Speaker 2:A lot of it is genetics too Right. Like your body is being like, the shape of your body is being passed down from generations. Of course you can lose weight, bring it up and down or whatever, but the shape of it is going to stay like whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Right. You're not going to be able to change that, especially at 14, 15, like that's crazy, that's not even a thing. Yeah, it shouldn't be a thing. It shouldn't be a thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, For me. I was very skinny and then I went to college and I started gaining weight and I haven't stopped since then, but even when I wasn't really. I don't know. I felt like I was overweight, but now, looking back, I'm like dude, now you're wearing like that's so sad that you thought.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, a lot of those ideas were pushed onto us and even if you weren't, we felt like it and whether through it was well, not social media, but like back in the day was like maybe TV, other type of media or your family.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a lot of it for me has been family comments and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I remember gosh, I still remember it's so sad. I remember going into the fridge and bringing out like a notebook with me and be like okay, I'm not going to eat these foods anymore. I know I've, I still got like 13 or 14.
Speaker 3:That's so sad.
Speaker 2:I still remember it to this day, sitting down opening the fridge and I'm like, okay, I'm not going to eat cheese, I'm not going to eat this, I'm not going to eat that, I'm not going to eat that, and I felt like I was going to make a change or I was going to make a difference, but I mean, it took me nowhere except for like an eating disorder.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And then it's the saddest part Like you don't have to be super skinny to have an eating disorder. You can be at a healthy well and a different weight Right and have an eating disorder.
Speaker 3:I think that no, no, I was just going to say that's the key word, right, healthy Cause healthy can look different for everybody, and everybody's going to react different to everything, so healthy might be a different way for someone who's your same height, so you're going to obviously look different.
Speaker 1:I think it's hard because, like, how unrealistic are weight loss expectations?
Speaker 1:You know like it's so unrealistic. So it's not based on individuals and it's based on looks. Like it's not like the three of us sitting here. Our body shapes are so different. We're different heights, we have different body shapes. If we lose 20 pounds it's going to show different in all of us. Like it's going to show different in all of us and that doesn't mean anything Like. It just means we're different.
Speaker 1:But society is expecting us to all look this one way Like you're skinny, with big boobs and big butt. Yeah, you're going to have a flat belly and that's what looks good and it's like. For how many years have you been hearing that Like? For how many years have you been? Like you just need to have a flat stomach? Like in my era back in the 1990s to. Like early 2000s beauty standards were on a rex stick. Like if we could see your collar bone and your rib like bones up here in your collar area. That's beauty. Like that's considered beauty and that was my goal. Like for me to be beautiful, I needed to be bony and also no butt and no butt.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was such a long time, my impossible thing.
Speaker 2:Nobody could never do that. The perfect body that I was. I guess Push on was like the NRX sick and thin because I grew up in the 2000s and To me I remember Dang it, I need to look like Paris Hilton right because when she was younger, when she was super young, she was a little stick and she was a little Square body and that's her body shape like that, that's she's tall and she's thin and that's how she spilt.
Speaker 2:And then me, oh my gosh. Whenever I got a butt, I was so sad when I got a butt.
Speaker 1:I was so sad when I didn't get.
Speaker 2:Different stories, but I felt like so huge because I had a big old butt and I was like what the fuck? Where did this come from? Why is this here? Why is this here? Why is this so big? Why doesn't it look like hers? Why doesn't it look like hers? Why doesn't look like Paris Hilton's? Yeah, and I still, I still remember to this stage being like more aware that I was different, that I was blushiest and that I didn't fit the norm. At that time I almost was relieved a little bit. Whatever Cremacordation and JLo came more popular. Yeah, okay, I look a little bit more like that, but still, there's a lot of unrealistic expectations with those bodies.
Speaker 1:It's now, it's an extreme right. So now it's like Okay that come on.
Speaker 2:That's too much yeah but I hope that someday we make the body itself like a Norm and just having a body yeah. Right.
Speaker 3:Have you guys seen that meme for like a beach body. Oh, I don't get ready for a beach body. You just have a body.
Speaker 2:Just have a body.
Speaker 3:Or if you're in a nudist beach you know, you would know about that.
Speaker 1:You wanna talk about that? What? I've never would you do it? Absolutely not.
Speaker 3:No no. I think I would do it, especially if I had been drinking. I would be less, more inclined, yeah less inhibited.
Speaker 2:I feel like a lot of those individuals are under some sort of influence.
Speaker 1:I think they just love their bodies.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think they just love their bodies.
Speaker 2:I think maybe, maybe, but I think they are exhibitionists. I think some people like showing and Not like a very body positive wave, a more like a Fetish way like a sexual thing like a sexual thing. I think that's more like it.
Speaker 3:I might.
Speaker 2:I may be wrong, I may be completely wrong.
Speaker 1:But if you've ever been to one, let us know what the vibe was if it's sexual or or it was just chill.
Speaker 2:I mean there has to be some level of respect. Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3:Would you stare?
Speaker 2:I think I would. I'd see a nice pee pee and it'd be like whoa nice pee pee.
Speaker 3:You would actually come up, you would say that I would not actually say that you would look at it and smile.
Speaker 1:All right, let's bring it back way, lost anyway.
Speaker 3:I think it's because we see, like celebrities right, and they go through a transformation, and then you're like, okay, like I can do it. The thing that we don't see is that they have the money to pay for a trainer. To pay for a chef to pay for all of these things, which makes it happen faster for them and it's more accessible, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:But it's so hard.
Speaker 3:It's so hard to lose weight.
Speaker 1:Have you guys said unrealistic goals for yourself?
Speaker 3:Yes, all the time. Do you want to share Well with weight? Last year was I was actually. I gained more weight and then I lost some during the middle of the year, but I've always had like I'm gonna lose 70 pounds in three months.
Speaker 2:I lost 150 pounds by separating from my partner.
Speaker 3:Yeah so yeah, I've done that for sure. Maybe not 70, but yeah, something like crazy.
Speaker 1:That is unhealthy to lose Super unhealthy yeah what about you?
Speaker 2:No same, I think for a really long time.
Speaker 1:First of all, I wasn't big, wasn't heavy, but I was don't say was because you're still not big and you're still not heavy.
Speaker 2:Sorry, that's the social pressured talking. Sorry, but for a long time, whenever I was smaller, when I was younger, I also did, and maybe not many years ago I was like, okay, same, same idea 50 pounds in six months? Mm-hmm, I mean that may be doable, that I also have a full-time job, mm-hmm, I have hobbies.
Speaker 3:I do not have a personal chef like sometimes I, sometimes I don't eat yeah, I would drink a lot so I could never achieve my goal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, for real, I only started this like alcohol-free lifestyle, a couple like actually a year ago, but for a long time I was drinking heavily the whole weekend and so there was a lot of things that I pressured myself into losing weight. But then here I am having like a normal life that's not really gonna allow me to do this.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm or allow me to do this in the time frame that I wanted to do this? Mm-hmm, I wanted to do it right away and I'm like no, I don't have a personal trainer, I don't have a chef, exactly like. I said so. It was. It became. It's very unrealistic as a average person to Set these really difficult goals.
Speaker 3:I think you can Set goals and lose weight if that's what you want to do. But I think you have to look at the root of where your insecurities coming from. I think most of the time we're thinking we're not, we're not worth something right the love of someone or the respect of something or Whatever it is because your body's not the standard exactly. So I think that's the thing that we have to heal first, and then you know, if you want to lose weight, you want to go to the gym, you want to become stronger or whatever it is, then you can look to waste to do that, for ways to do that. But I think if we don't look at what is causing us that Desire, then it's just really difficult because then you go back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're not gonna stay in the cycle, exactly yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:For me. I feel like I had so many unrealistic Explotations to, but I think one of the many ones was if I work out really hard, like every single day, and Not eat like I'm not eating, oh my god. Like then I have to lose weight. Like, then I have to lose weight. Well, I have something called PCOS that doesn't allow me to lose weight as much as like the average person Some kind of hormones, something and I would love to talk more about this, because there's a lot of women out there that fit but I Remember I was doing CrossFit, oh wow.
Speaker 2:Isn't that a little intense?
Speaker 1:It's very interesting, crazy, intense. I was doing hundreds of burpees a week and I was running and lifting weights and Literally eating chicken breasts and I lost 15 pounds, damn. And I did this for two months and I remember being like, how is this even possible? Like I'm a failure, like you know. And then you just I remember being so hard on myself because how could I work so hard and literally not lose anything?
Speaker 3:But also like Then I was gaining muscle. No, yeah, and that's the thing. 15 pounds is a lot of weight to lose.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of weight to lose, plus muscle weights more than fat. So I was losing the fat and gaining muscle. You didn't have the perspective.
Speaker 2:But I didn't Like, I was just so unrealistic about the number on the scale.
Speaker 1:Yeah that I was like this is so crazy, this is ridiculous, and I dropped CrossFit. Well, I also hurt my back pretty badly during a deadlift and I stopped doing CrossFit. And then I just started just eating badly and having bad habits because I was angry at myself. Then I was punishing myself. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I mean the injury came itself from pushing too hard, too hard. So like salio contra por los sentes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like punishment, like I've learned through my weight loss journey that all I've done for myself is try to punish myself for being overweight. And that's such a sad place to live.
Speaker 2:It's really, it's extremely sad, but I don't think you're the only one who can say that. I think that's the whole overall, most of the sentiment individuals that want to lose weight.
Speaker 3:I wonder how it is for men, because we were talking about like earlier etc. In our culture, especially right, people make made fun of if they're heavier which happens to men all the time especially boys, right Calling them gorditos and stuff like that. I wonder how much that affects their mental health and their everything.
Speaker 2:I think it's terrible because it's more, it's more normalized.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like it's funny. It's funny. You're just being funny. Laugh at it. It's silly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's terrible. I dang. I only wish we could know how that feels, but it can't feel great. No and for the longest time and still to this day, you can't really talk about it. They couldn't share their feelings.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You're a man, figure it out. You're a boy, You're not supposed to feel blah, blah blah Right yeah. So a lot of times I don't think they could complain.
Speaker 1:My mom tells a story. Like my dad, he he had to get. He gained a lot of weight. Well, when he moved up here, when he lived in Mexico, like he was a musician and he did sports and play soccer and stuff and once he moved here, like there was none of that, like he just had to figure out how to get money and how to like support us all up here. So he started to gain a lot of weight because he had driving jobs and jobs where he had to sit for a lot of periods of time and he gained a lot of weight and a lot of stress, and a lot of stress and a lot of like just things.
Speaker 1:And she says that when they went back to Mexico the first time that his family made so much fun of him, and that he cried. He was just so hurt and instead of like them being like, oh my gosh, you're so glad to see you, it was like damn dude, you're so fat and I can't believe you're so fat. And I remember being like who did that to my dad? You know, but it was so normal to them because, like, it's funny, it's a joke. You know, he is fat.
Speaker 2:Take it as a joke, yeah.
Speaker 1:And he's not supposed to be like offended because it's funny and he's a guy and he should just tough it out and that's really sad.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's really sad.
Speaker 1:So I cannot imagine like he never talked about how that made him feel, of course, but I can't imagine how terrible he must have felt, like going back when he had him back in like 15 years, and the only thing they could say was you're fat.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe we can try to see if we can find someone to come talk about like weight and body image with some man in our culture to share that experience? Because, yeah, I wonder, I was just wondering about that when we were talking about it at the beginning. It's a different experience.
Speaker 1:It's rough on girls, it's very difficult.
Speaker 2:It's rough on us, but we hear about it more.
Speaker 3:Aha, now, now, yeah, right.
Speaker 2:And so we hear about it more so we can, we have a more of a perspective on that, but we don't really. I don't know. I don't really hear it from men. Yeah, the only thing I don't know. I feel like all of it. At least, since we're Hispanic, we can say all of these Hispanic families usually have a tendency to call you out if you're too heavy or so they'll comment.
Speaker 3:They'll comment, they'll have something to say.
Speaker 2:They'll always have something to say. But, man, I wish we can have a male perspective.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe in a future episode.
Speaker 1:What's the most annoying stigma that you guys hear about, like overweight?
Speaker 3:people that they're not healthy that they can't do. Whatever other people can do, I feel like for me is that they're lazy Like that is the biggest one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because I remember there's. I love hiking and I love working out, like I did CrossFit for a really long time and I did this other workout. It's called orange theory. That's so much fun and I love it. And you know, not a lot of skinny people don't do it, Like you know a lot of skinny people can't do it Right and so like I love doing things and moving my body and so like for me to be called lazy just because I gain weight or look a certain way.
Speaker 1:Like it was always such a bother, like I'm always like, but I can jog, but I can do this, but I can. You know, I'm not lazy Like, I do so much, like I have a full-time job, I go to full-time school, I like I'm always moving, like what do you mean lazy? Like in what sense?
Speaker 3:Yeah, there are so many other things that affect that part of yourself, not only like we were talking about genetics, right? Obviously, if there's something like PCOS or anything like that, I know depression can be a cause.
Speaker 1:Anxiety.
Speaker 3:Anxiety if you're taking some sort of medication that might be making you gain weight too. There are so many other things that affect your weight.
Speaker 2:There are so many determinants that could be going on with an individual and it's not okay to be like oh it's because you're lazy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah let's not say that.
Speaker 2:And you're not going to be like, oh, it's because I'm taking medication for this, so that affects my weight Right, because it's not anybody's business.
Speaker 3:Why would you have to say that?
Speaker 2:I feel like people think that they deserve that explanation.
Speaker 3:And sometimes just because life happens like there's nothing else but, that right Like there's there doesn't have to be any freaking explanation for anyone.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what I'm going to eat? Like a cake, because I deserve it.
Speaker 3:Why not?
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, there's a lot of things going on and I don't know. I feel like we need to work on our judging yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:When my dad passed away, I would get up, cry eat, go back to bed, cry, eat, like literally that's all I could do, Like I was trying to keep myself alive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were in survival mode and I was in survival mode.
Speaker 1:And then when I looked at gain like 20 pounds and I was like, oh shit, like now I need to work on this. But that wasn't even after the pain I was feeling like weight was the last worry that I had. Like I didn't care about losing or gaining weight at the time because the only thing I cared about was that my dad was gone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then did it ever happen to you guys when you were thinking? Because I remember, like I said, I was gaining weight since college. But then I was like, okay, I'm just going to get to this point and then I'll start working out so I can still eat a bunch of Taco Bell or whatever, and then I would get there and I'd be like, oh, it's so hard, okay, I'm just going to get to this point and then I'm going to start working out. Did you guys ever do that?
Speaker 1:Just me? I'm pretty sure it's not just you.
Speaker 2:No, I did it, I just did it recently.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was like, okay, I'm going to give myself. I was going through, I was just working a little bit more and so I didn't pay attention to moving my body a whole lot. But I was like, okay, I'm just going to do this right now, and then I'm going to make the best of what I can with what I got and then enjoy myself. And starting the year I actually started beforehand, but still around that same time I was like and then I'm going to start moving more. And that's when I added my goal. I'm like, okay, I'm going to start being more mindful of what I eat. I'm going to start eating less was basically my goal as well. I started eating less outside my bed. I should have added that on not eating less, because I don't think that I eat a whole lot, but I wanted to be, I don't know, I just didn't want to go out and eat out a lot.
Speaker 3:That makes sense.
Speaker 2:And that's just how I'm moving more. But yes, I totally did that, I did that recently and I don't know if it's healthy on healthy, but I already did that.
Speaker 1:But we do it all the time. Yeah, I would do it all the time.
Speaker 3:It's either if, if I'll start on Monday or I'll start and so on, the first I'll start on, you know okay for now, because this is the last day I'm going to pizza.
Speaker 1:Pizza is so good I know, did you guys ever?
Speaker 2:hear about pizza Is the pizza, the distractor. I have a question.
Speaker 1:For me, dating was really difficult because I I was so insecure about my body and I still am insecure insecure about my body. Was it difficult? And the reason I'm asking is because to me you both are so confident, Like I have learned about confidence because of both of you, and I love like one of the things I love with being around you guys is like how much, like Diana, you love your body and Nancy, like you always dress to impress and I could never do that Like I could. I always dress to hide, Like, always dress to hide.
Speaker 2:Like to be honest, though. Yes, I don't love my body and I don't dress to impress.
Speaker 1:You fakers, you lie to me.
Speaker 2:That's how I deal with it. Fake it till you, make it. You know, maybe eventually I won't have that feeling anymore, but at this time I do. But I don't love my body.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on hold on, so it was dating hard for you.
Speaker 2:It has been very difficult Okay. Cause I'm like. I'm like oh, what if they don't like me? What if it's that? What if it's that, what if it's that? No, no, no, no, no, Really, yeah. Okay, let me rephrase this though I love myself, I love my body because it gives me. I love myself, I love my body because it gives me. I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself literal life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can move.
Speaker 2:literally I can do everything. So I love my body for that. I don't love how exactly how it looks, but I think that can be worked on and so I'm trying to change my mindset. But like just to be completely clear, I don't full on love it all the time, Okay, all the time. It's all. The time is the key. I like it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I know you're going to say that? No, I was just going to say so. I don't know if it ever affected my dating, but I know in my last relationship when I started gaining more weight, it was really hard to like even be intimate because I was so insecure Like I didn't. I didn't want to show anything because I didn't. I felt so bad about myself. Yeah, but yeah, that's definitely happened.
Speaker 1:I feel like for me it has gosh. It makes me want to cry honestly to think about it, because it has been such a big, constant thing in my life. And even meeting my husband, like I remember being like, oh, what if he doesn't like my, my stretch marks? And like I have stretch marks in my belly and he, man, I don't have a big button. Oh, guys, like big butts and I have a double chin or oh, I have this. And it's things that I just sit there knit and pick at. That are probably not that serious, but I see them so big.
Speaker 1:And during pregnancy, like I was like, well, I'm never going to show, like because I'm heavier set, so like I'll never get that experience of having like a pretty belly that shows and like it has. It has been so hard to to look at weight and to look at myself within that weight and feel like I'm worthy and I'm beautiful. And I'm so lucky that I got a partner that loves me and finds me attractive and and helps me be confident and I'm finding that through him and today I can say, yeah, maybe this, this body, was not, it's not perfect, but it's creating a life. And I have a belly and it is fucking and it's growing and I'm loving seeing the growth of this belly and, yeah, I am growing with the belly, but at the same time, you know like.
Speaker 1:I'm, I'm, I'm growing emotionally, I'm growing in so many ways and I'm learning to love myself and and every day when I'm like, oh man, this is hard, I think my body's doing this, like my body is getting me through this.
Speaker 1:My body has gotten me to this point where, at 40 years old, I can be pregnant. And and why have I been punishing myself, like, why have I been being so mean to myself, you know, and and it's all those things we talk about, it's all those things, all the stigmas, all the judgments, until finally I, I come to the realization that we should move our bodies because we love our bodies and not because we're punishing our bodies. And we should feed our bodies good nutrient, nutrient stuff because we love our bodies, not because we're punishing our bodies. And that has really helped me change the way I look at my, at my weight loss or not weight loss, you know, like, at who I am and how I look and love myself for that it's so funny how we have those like internal battles because, just like you were saying, like you see, diana and myself, the way I've always seen you is just like fucking beautiful.
Speaker 3:All the fucking time, like no, it has not ever been a question Like that's never been, like oh never.
Speaker 2:Like you're fucking gorgeous.
Speaker 3:Yeah you are, so it's interesting, right, how we have all these ideas inside of us and not
Speaker 1:really what other?
Speaker 3:people are necessarily seeing.
Speaker 2:Because you're fucking amazing, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you sit there and you pick, you know, like yes oh, I don't like this, I don't like that, I don't like that. And and like you're right, like I met Diana and I was like smitten, like I was in love. I was just like thank you, who is this wild child? And she's so fucking beautiful and she's so confident and I met you and I felt the same way and it's like for me in my eyes, like when I talk about my friends all of my friends are like fucking gorgeous, like I like to me, my friends are like the most beautiful people, not only inside but outside, like I don't have an ugly friend.
Speaker 1:I don't You're welcome.
Speaker 2:I don't think we'd be friends if we were ugly inside or out.
Speaker 3:Inside for sure. Inside for sure.
Speaker 2:Inside especially.
Speaker 3:Because that.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think that makes it or breaks it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because shitty person, shitty person, but you're pretty Still. Yeah, that's true, not sorry.
Speaker 3:I remember what I was gonna say before? No, because we were talking about the like expectations that we can create. Did it ever happen to you guys that you set a goal because you had, like something coming up?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, my wedding party. A wedding or?
Speaker 3:something we do it all the time. All the time Like torturing yourself to fit that whatever you wanna wear. Why? Because how fun.
Speaker 2:Right. Why do we do that to ourselves? Oh my gosh, I used to buy clothes and, okay, I'm gonna look way I'm gonna fit into it.
Speaker 1:And I'm gonna fit into it I still have clothes hanging in my closet that I'm gonna fit into. Ooh Ooh.
Speaker 2:I hate it. And I look at him and I'm like fuck.
Speaker 3:I threw a pair of pants away today, really, cause I'm like I'm not fitting in them right now and if I ever did, I'm just gonna buy new pants, like I'm not gonna wear these pants.
Speaker 2:I don't need to see them here just occupying space.
Speaker 1:Remind me what, torturing me For what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, basically torturing yourself. Like, oh, I'm gonna fit into this eventually. So I've started to change my mindset about that as well, Cause I'm like buy clothes that fit you. That feel nice that feel good, that feel nice, that are gonna good quality clothes that are gonna last you. I've started to, I've started to take well, it's been a while that I've started to take that initiative, I guess. But yeah, it's like don't worry about the size Cause, first of all, there's no actual unit size. That is, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Thank you for saying that, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like a size large on this brand could be a size small on this brand. So there's-.
Speaker 1:And it messes so much with your head Oof.
Speaker 2:Oof. Whenever I was buying jeans and just having that realization, I was like, oh wait, I have to buy a larger size in, like in Levi's, but I'm over here a size over here on Express. I'm like when is going?
Speaker 1:on. Yeah, I'm getting weight from one store to the other. It's terrible. Was it that churro that I was eating on my way here? I could have not.
Speaker 2:It was like I see the coffee and then yes, but I've started to buy clothes that feel good on me, that fit me well, and it's difficult it's not easy to not look at the size, but it's doable.
Speaker 1:I remember when I went to go get my wedding dress like the sizes are off, like they're huge. Okay, they're very off Cause.
Speaker 2:I love watching say yes to the dress. That's the point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause I don't know it is. It's like I don't know what's on the HBO, no, but like we went in there and the lady was like you're a size, Like it was just like a 55. What? It was a huge number and I was just like that's an actual number.
Speaker 2:I don't know what's the size? There's no, it's an actual number. I don't know what's the size. I don't know what's the size 55.
Speaker 1:No 55 is the number. 55 is the number of the dress. Anyway. But I remember being like what? And then I was like, oh, I have to, I have to lose weight, I have to lose weight, oh my gosh. And we got the dress, we altered it and the lady was like, oh, this looks perfect, like, don't gain weight and don't lose weight because we've already gotten it perfect. And I was like, no, I'm, I'm going to lose weight. She's like no, but Like I said no.
Speaker 1:And I lost a little bit of weight, but it was still doable. And I remember on my wedding day I was like I'm a princess, I'm so beautiful Look at my dress Gorgeous.
Speaker 3:Thank you, gorgeous, you're dressed. Yeah, you look so beautiful. She's wearing it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to wear it all the time Once I have this baby every.
Speaker 3:Friday night Go wear it right now. No, I can't fit in it right now?
Speaker 1:No baby, baby, he's in the way.
Speaker 2:All right, you wear your wedding dress and all when my kinsengera. Do you have your kinsengera dress?
Speaker 3:I don't think I have it anymore. All right, let's get you a dress. Ok, ok, I have a dress.
Speaker 1:We'll just record in our dresses Like a poofy princess dress.
Speaker 3:That's not my style it's going to be. We should do pictures like that. Like a photo session.
Speaker 2:My mom would love it honestly.
Speaker 3:We can go to Jaycee Penney and get those pictures.
Speaker 1:All right, that's a wonderful idea Pictures coming up.
Speaker 3:Pictures coming up Coming soon. I see all pictures coming soon. Yes, oh gosh.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I think our next segment kind of goes into what we're talking right now. So do you want to tell them what that is?
Speaker 3:I think it's Diana's Daily Shirt.
Speaker 2:Woo, this one yes, it is actually my little ramp. It's going to be related to weight loss. Nice, first one. First comment Skinny people saying that they're fat. It's so fucking annoying. I don't know if you're doing it to fish for compliments, I don't care. Honestly, don't, especially in front of a fat person. Yeah, especially in front of a fat person Like you, saying you feel so fat right now and you're like 100 pounds. No, no, don't do that, keep it to yourself. Can I tell you a story about that?
Speaker 1:So I was in a choir class in community college and there was this girl. She was kind of annoying but everybody tolerated her, and every day she would walk in and be like I'm so fat. She was not fat, she was beautiful, not fat at all.
Speaker 1:I'm just so fat, I'm just so fat and I was just like OK, so one day one of the guys was like if you think you're so fat, like why don't you work out? And the guy I think the guy was just trying to help, like he wasn't being a jerk, like he literally was just trying to like she's got a problem, here's a solution. And she was upset, like she was like I can't believe you called me fat what I'm? At least not fat like the Mexican women. You know, because they eat lard and I was like oh girl, you went the wrong way, like that was not OK.
Speaker 1:And then we had these other two girls that were pretty gangster and they got up and they were like, what do you say? And then she just like panicked and just left. But then I was like girl, wait, you're the one calling yourself. Yeah, you started this conversation. He was just trying to be helpful, yeah, and she cried about it and made a whole drama about it and the other two girls were ready to beat her up. It's just like shut up to the other girls.
Speaker 2:I don't know what to tell you, and why did she have to make the Mexican comment? I don't know, that wasn't necessary. Yeah, she was just so out of line, exactly Because the guy that told her that was Mexican.
Speaker 1:So maybe she was trying to offend him.
Speaker 2:I don't know, that's super fucking weird though.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but also Also I bet there are some people who suffer from body dysmorphia.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:So it could be that they legitimately feel like that. I think that a lot of people just do it for attention, which is also something that they have to work on with their therapist. But, we do have to consider that it can be a legitimate issue that some people have.
Speaker 2:I mean the cult for attention is still an issue in itself, exactly, exactly, in any situation, in any situation. Yeah, in her case it may or may not have been body dysmorphia, but I don't think that would have been her reaction was an appropriate reaction, especially if she was calling the attention to her bird weeks. Yeah exactly, and this one's my second comment Fat people telling other fat people that they're fat Like. Excuse me, where's the awareness.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't have anything to say about that. I don't let you have it.
Speaker 1:I mean the rage is building.
Speaker 2:No, not even. I'm just trying to say this carefully, okay.
Speaker 3:Oh, look at me, what was it? Oh are you going to work on consciousness?
Speaker 2:No, not that one no, ok, mindful.
Speaker 3:Mindful, mindful, mindful.
Speaker 2:That's the word of the week I still haven't reached my conscious, maybe just in the future. We'll see.
Speaker 1:Will they get there?
Speaker 2:Well, we get there. No, but like, if you are at a certain body weight and you are judging others, individual, other individuals don't do that either. Just because you are at a certain body weight doesn't give you the right to say or say something mean or judgmental to another person who may be heavier than you, who may look different than you, who may look larger than you. That still doesn't give you the right. So and I think that's I think at least in my family other individuals are of a certain size and then they comment on me and I'm like, and I don't want to be rude and disrespectful, but I want to be like, ok, let's look both in a mirror, let's see where we both are, you know.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 2:If you're going to be mean, I'm going to be mean back, but my parents are here, so I'm not going to do it because I'm going to yell at me.
Speaker 1:I remember one time, one of my mom. I don't want to be yelled at by my parents. It hurts my feelings.
Speaker 3:I have feelings. Yeah, we'll come back to that one.
Speaker 1:I remember one time one of my mom's friends came over and she said that comment to me that I is. That's one of that Like you're so pretty, but it'd be prettier if you were skinny.
Speaker 2:Not a bit. I'm pretty now.
Speaker 1:And my dad was like at least she's one of that I like love that. Not a lot of people can say that. Like you know, and I just looked at him and he was like you're pretty, she's not like you can lose weight. She can't fix her ugly, it's inside and out. And I was like dad, that's mean.
Speaker 3:But yes, thank you. I think the moral of the story is just don't comment on other people's bodies, exactly. Especially if you don't know the context of what's going on.
Speaker 2:Like it's not. It's unnecessary. It's unnecessary, and just because you feel bad for your body doesn't mean that you make you have to make other people feel bad for their body.
Speaker 3:Yeah, how do we feel about the word fat? I don't really care for it. Yeah, it's just what it is.
Speaker 2:It is what it is Like if you have fat, you are fat. We all have fat, though.
Speaker 1:We all have fat.
Speaker 2:There's just different levels of of fat. Yeah, but I mean I don't think it should be a word that should be used against people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it does have a negative connotation, though it has.
Speaker 2:It does have a very negative connotation, but I don't think it should be used negatively, and that comes with making comments like these, like you're bringing me whatever and I'm like baby, just look at yourself. But yes, it definitely is a word used to describe individuals negatively, and maybe don't use that description at all, or maybe just don't freaking comment on other people's bodies.
Speaker 1:You don't know what they're going through. Just keep it to yourself. It's their body, exactly. Worry about yourself. Worry about yourself, their body, their choice, exactly. Yes, queen, you're welcome. Nova agreed with that because he just came. I love that, nova.
Speaker 3:He's already a feminist.
Speaker 1:I love him so much.
Speaker 3:We're doing such a good job as gantams.
Speaker 1:It's going to be great. The podcast is working. Yes, we are changing one person's mind at a time, including babies, a baby's mind at a time Any closing thoughts.
Speaker 3:It's definitely a struggle that a lot of us deal with.
Speaker 2:It's not just your own struggle, honestly.
Speaker 3:Yes, I think, especially in our culture, something that has been normalized and that it's seen as something that is funny when it's actually very hurtful, especially when it's said to someone who's really young.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:So, hopefully, my hope is that now that we're growing up and we're having kids, we can change the way that we can talk to our kids, the way we talk about our bodies, the way they see that we love ourselves as we are.
Speaker 2:Love in a respectful way.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm hoping that things will change. But yes, it's definitely something really really difficult still.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I hope that people hearing our version of our experiences with white loss will help them understand theirs a little bit more. So I hope that happens. But yes, the theme of this year is be mindful.
Speaker 3:Oh, I like it.
Speaker 2:Mindful.
Speaker 1:Be mindful of Word of the.
Speaker 2:Week Word of the Week.
Speaker 1:Every week Every week, honestly For the next season, for the next full season.
Speaker 2:Yep, be more mindful of yourself. Give yourself grace We've talked about this before and that includes your body and mind. Your own business.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:The body is lacking person, the body that you are, real body is not your body, Unless that's your child or service Damage being done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Before you say your closing thoughts. We didn't even mention anything about all the fake pills and diets that are out, we will have to do a part two because I think we should do part two fear mothering you lose weight, it's gonna melt your fat. Oh my god, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that.
Speaker 1:I think for me is something that I've been trying to practice a lot when it comes to my body and my weight is move your body because you love it, not because you hate it. Do positive things for your body because of love and not because I hate Like. Don't punish yourself for something that's not even a bad thing. You know, like you just love yourself enough and make those changes that you need to make, and just love your body. Learn to love your body.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 2:Learn to love and appreciate your body. Hell yeah, brother. Yep, that was very country of me, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Anyway, have a good night. Thank you for listening. Bye.
Speaker 3:Have any questions and follow us on social media at LLOM underscore podcast on Instagram and the Facebook and TikTok.
Speaker 2:Latin State of Mind on Facebook and TikTok is I think the same, I believe.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, bye, bye, have a good night.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to.
Speaker 3:Latina State of Mind produced by us. Your awesome host, Diana, Sonia and Nancy. Special shout out to Jerome, our editor, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at LSOM underscore podcast and on Facebook at Latina State of Mind. I'll see you next time.
