Latina State of Mind
Join our lively Latina trio as they dive into thought-provoking and relatable conversations on this episode of Latina State of Mind. From tackling tough and honest topics to just simply hanging out and having fun, you won't want to miss a minute of this episode. Listen in as they bring in special guests and professionals to provide guidance and insights, making this podcast a must-listen for anyone looking to broaden their perspectives and expand their knowledge. Tune in now for a fresh and exciting take on life, culture, and everything in between. Get ready to be inspired and entertained with Latina State of Mind.
Latina State of Mind
Embracing the Beautiful Chaos of Motherhood
Embarking on the journey of motherhood comes with a myriad of twists and turns, and on our latest episode we share the intimate details of this wild ride. From the heart-wrenching moments of premature birth and the battle against preeclampsia to the lighter, laughter-filled discussions on cultural birth year superstitions, we dissect every aspect of new parenthood. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, and we're here to recount the highs and lows, including the societal pressures and choices surrounding birth methods.
As we navigate the waters of motherhood, we confront the stigmas and often unspoken challenges that come with the title of 'mom.' The pain associated with childbirth and breastfeeding can be immense, but we're taking a stand against the notion that it's a rite of passage for true motherhood. I share my own tribulations with breastfeeding and the transition to formula, reminding all mothers that their choices are valid and that a happy, healthy baby is the ultimate goal. This episode is a candid confession booth of our personal experiences, where no topic is too taboo.
We wrap this emotional rollercoaster with conversations on the indispensable need for a robust support system, the impact of gender stereotypes in parenting, and the importance of mental health awareness. Giving a special nod to the partners who step up to the plate, we celebrate the shared journey of parenthood. Join us for these heartfelt tales and more as we embrace this beautiful chaos called motherhood!
this is latina state of mind, a podcast created by latinas for all audiences, where we can share our experiences about love, life and everything in between.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of Latina State of Mind.
Speaker 1:Welcome back.
Speaker 2:Woo, we're back.
Speaker 3:What's up witches? Oh wait, my bad Witches.
Speaker 2:So this is Nancy, and I'm here with Vianna and Xenia.
Speaker 1:How are you guys? Great, great, I missed you guys I miss you too.
Speaker 2:It's been a while. I know we took a little break and we're gonna be talking about the reason why we took a little break.
Speaker 1:You know, we just wanted to take a break, we needed it it's from each other, no, Todo menos flash.
Speaker 3:We were fighting.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It was a physical fight. Diana hit us. Sounds about right.
Speaker 2:We had a restraining order against Diana. It finally dropped.
Speaker 1:We're finally allowed to be in the same room. Actually, we're all on Zoom because, Jerome didn't drop his side of the restraining order.
Speaker 2:Jerome might even hit you.
Speaker 1:Just kidding you guys, I would never do that. Anyways, we were on maternity leave. Yes, we were.
Speaker 3:Who had a baby Me.
Speaker 2:So we have a new member of Latina State of Mind.
Speaker 1:Yes, and he's perfect. He is one of the producers. Yeah, yep, he's a new editor, if you hear his squeaky noises.
Speaker 2:It's because he's here Making sure that everything runs smoothly.
Speaker 1:Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 2:He's the supervisor Talent manager, so we're very excited we're new aunties, I'm the fun one, obviously.
Speaker 3:Who are you the favorite? What are you His favorite? That's debatable. Anyways, hi, mom, hi.
Speaker 1:Mom, mom, mom. I know I know that's debatable. Anyways, hi, mom, hi, mom, mom, mom. No, I know, first mother's day ever. Oh my god, I already got emotional about it.
Speaker 3:I already cried about it, yeah okay but, yeah, that's completely understandable. I'll just I understand this one, this crying about it.
Speaker 2:Okay, this one. What do you mean? If she cries next year, you're not gonna understand. Uh, no, she's gonna cry. She cries next year, you're not going to understand. No, she's going to cry.
Speaker 3:She cries for everything.
Speaker 1:As a matter of fact, I showed up and I was sitting there crying yes, because my nephew is graduating high school, and I got an invitation and it's so sweet, and I was just sitting there bawling. This could be a little postpartum too, you would have cried. Yeah, I know it's a little bit of everything, yeah.
Speaker 3:So that's what we're here to talk about. You as a new mother, especially new mother. Yeah, what is it like it's crazy.
Speaker 1:First of all, let me tell you guys, baby, not due till april 12th, um, but I had been feeling pretty sick, like I had gained a lot of weight. I was really bloated, just like I was um swollen, like my legs and feet were double the size of what they normally are, like. Everything was just like it was bad and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Isn't that normal it?
Speaker 1:is um, but to an extent. To an extent, and I don't think, I don't think it was normal, but it shouldn't be normal, at least, but it is normal, a lot of women swell towards the end um but um, towards the end I was sleeping on a couch like I couldn't lay down, like it was just awful, it was really bad. And then I started feeling like cramping, um, and I was like, well, it's probably just something called braxton hicks, which is like fake cramping is it like your body kind of getting?
Speaker 1:ready, ready for baby to come and all that. Um, how do you know the things she's? Just so smart, she's getting ready no, actually this is so um.
Speaker 3:I don't do this exactly like I'm taking down notes. Okay, don't do this, because reason 345 you swell up you swell up um.
Speaker 1:But then I went to the hospital and we knew baby was bigger than um, than what he was supposed to be. I had, uh, gestational diabetes, so that's why also one of the reasons why baby was bigger. But then when I got to the um hospital, I was diagnosed with something called preeclampsia and then, if you can google that, yeah, I don't know what that is um, and so my blood pressure was really high and they were just worried about what that could do for baby and me.
Speaker 1:And baby was already nine pounds and so he was way too big to be in there. So at nine, nine am, 10 am ish, they told us we were having a C-section. At 1 pm and we went from hey, I just need to check up and make sure everything's okay to you're having a C-section at 1 pm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and how early was that. The due date was April 12th.
Speaker 1:So here was some whole month and a week ahead, so 34 weeks.
Speaker 3:Oh jeez, and I do have um definition of preeclampsia, uh, formerly known as toxemia. Toxemia happens when you're pregnant and had and have high blood pressure, too much protein in your pee and also swelling in your legs, feet and hands. It can range from mild to severe. Happens late in pregnancy, um, though it can come earlier or just after delivery. The main cause of it, uh, the placenta not developing properly due to a problem with the blood vessels supplying it oh, that's scary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's a little scary then. Um, baby had I'll get emotional about this one maybe had to go to the I was just kidding.
Speaker 3:You can get emotional about anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, stop baby had to go to the niki right after he was born, um, and then I had to have a c-section, so he since he was a preemie, um, there was a lot of tests and stuff that they needed to do for him and I didn't get to hold him for about five days and I think, out of all the experience, I think that was the hardest, because you have this like dream of being a mom and your dream of being a mom looks like you get a baby on your chest and you get to hold your baby and you get to do skin to skin right, and I didn't, like I saw him, I got to to hear him cry and then they took him and the next time I saw him he had all these little tubes on him and we could, we could touch him, but we I couldn't hold him and that was really hard and, yeah, that was just, I think, the hardest part of it all.
Speaker 1:And then I had to go to my own room without a baby and then you can hear all the babies in the other rooms crying I'm so sorry and I just remember longing to like have this baby, because I had been carrying this, carrying this baby with me, yeah, inside of me, for the last few months and now like he wasn't with me and he wasn't near me, you know. So it was like it was just such a trip and it was just kind of hard for me.
Speaker 3:That one was the hardest part of it because you didn't have the usual experience right like for example, that you see on tv or something, or the experience that you make up yourself, you know you're always like, um, oh, I'm gonna have a baby and this is what's gonna happen, or this is what's gonna go down, um, and the thing is like nobody had.
Speaker 1:I I didn't know until I spoke about this experience that a lot of women have gone through c-sections, that a lot of my friends had c-sections and had preemies and had babies in the nicu, and I was just like why didn't you talk?
Speaker 1:about it like how come? I didn't know, but I guess I wasn't paying attention because I was just assuming that it was a beautiful birth fine and dandy, but also, I feel like, because sometimes we don't know if it's inappropriate to ask I guess, depending on what kind of relationship you have with your friends and also like this was your first time having a baby.
Speaker 2:If you've never birthed a baby, then you don't really know what kind of questions to ask unless, like, the mom is willing to share those things.
Speaker 1:So I really appreciate that you're so yeah and I love you and I'm so proud of you yeah, but I mean now it's just I can't believe baby's here oh no, thank you for holding our little diana's. If you could see diana, she's holding our little fingers middle finger I'm holding.
Speaker 3:I'm holding your index finger, I'm holding her middle finger you like my middle finger better. I love it whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know what you're thinking, but anyways, this is a very sweet and emotional episode about motherhood. I'm so happy no, but I'm glad that you're talking about this and I hope that um, I don't know it opens up the conversation for other mothers or other expecting mothers to like hey, this may happen, it's very possible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's like it's OK to talk about things that are difficult.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Obviously not everything is going to be perfect all the time, or like we don't think it's perfect, but I mean it is perfect. You have a beautiful baby, yeah, he came early so you get to have him for longer than you expected, like sooner, yeah, um, so yeah, I don't know, I think. Yeah, we really appreciate your openness and willingness to talk about it and, if it helps, eddie did come.
Speaker 3:My brother eddie did come in sooner, about a week, about a month sooner, and he turned out okay, I think he turned out.
Speaker 1:I mean, he's here, he's alive and he's like healthy and stuff yeah, he does well thanks, diana, that does help a lot you're welcome.
Speaker 3:You know what's funny? Your son was born in the year of the dragon. Yes, and he's also a dragon, oh my gosh. So I don't know if that means anything to you. It means great things.
Speaker 1:Do you like Eddie? Yeah, he's really nice Okay.
Speaker 2:Putting me on the spot. Do you like Eddie Knowing that he listens?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Hi, knowing that he listens. Yeah, hi, how you doing.
Speaker 1:I do like you. It's all right. He likes himself enough. He doesn't need other people to like him. Anyways, motherhood it's been great. So far it's been good. Um, it's been nice to talk to people and share those experiences. Also, I've been learning how many shitty comments people make to you when you're a mother.
Speaker 3:Wait, has it happened to you already?
Speaker 1:I've got a lot of. Well, at least your vagina didn't get teared up. What the fuck, what is it their business? Like at least you didn't birth your actual baby. Like at least you had a C-section. That was easier. That's not fucking easier Like my stomach got cut up and I couldn't move for like a while. And why are you kidding me?
Speaker 3:My vagina, first of all, like the whole birthing process, whether it is through C-section or through your VJJ, is traumatizing. Yeah, it's painful.
Speaker 1:And it's a birthing process it's a birthing process period. I didn't even know that there was such a thing like. I was talking to one of my co-workers and she had two c-sections and she's like, yeah, people have a lot to say about people that have had c-sections, that haven't had natural births like they. They make it seem like it was easier because you had a c-section and I was like your body being cut up.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's easier yeah, because the recovery time is longer.
Speaker 1:Right, but then apparently like the, the thing that takes away from you being like a mother. Well, no, quote, unquote yeah, um, or as people see it, is that you didn't actually go through the actual pain of birthing a child, yeah exactly right, but in in those people's minds you didn't.
Speaker 1:Well, they're wrong and I was just like they're wrong there's drugs nowadays. If you're going through that pain, like what a lot of people choose to have natural births and that if that's what you want, that's good for them. Like it was never in my life plan to have a natural birth anyway, like I wanted all the drugs.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, that I have heard about that, like people judging yes, if you decide to have a, an epidural yeah, and I mean it's just nobody's business, right, right we've been talking for so long about my body, my choice yeah, this is another aspect of my body, my choice exactly, and I think that's one of the things I learned as a mother.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of people are like are you gonna do natural birth? And I was like, why would I? We've come so far exactly if you could, you would.
Speaker 3:If you want to go for it, if you want to go like I don't.
Speaker 1:For me personally, I don't understand the going through the pain, like it doesn't make me feel like more of a mother if I feel more pain like I feel like if that helps other mothers connect more to their children, then that's like cool, that's good for you but I don't that pain connection was never a thing for me there's.
Speaker 3:No, there is a correlation, but there shouldn't really be a correlation, and plus there's women out there that can just uh, kind of push them out and pain tolerance is so different for everybody, but, and then I mean, if we're going to talk about it, the concept of motherhood.
Speaker 2:You can use a surrogate and still be a mother right or you can adopt and be a mother, or you can have kids in so many different ways, so that's just hurtful to say yeah, yeah there's a lot in um, we have a friend here hanging out with us who is a mother.
Speaker 1:That all of my life, um and I don't know if you got any of these stupid comments, but I feel like a lot of the times, just the way people talk to you after being a mom, like even the biggest torture for me has been right now uh, breastfeeding. Breastfeeding has been rough for me. Breastfeeding it was something that I envision as this, like poetic, beautiful bonding time with my child and I was gonna sit there and I was just gonna yeah, exactly look into my baby's eyes and rejoice and somebody said that shit hurts and I was like no way, like there's no way that that can hurt so much.
Speaker 1:Like such a beautiful process so beautiful, like your body's, creating nutrients for your baby, and I, you know, was so delusional I will tell you that that shit hurts so bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I wasn't prepared for it, like I remember sitting there being like, oh my God, I don't want to do this anymore. Like I don't want it. The baby was. It was harder for him to latch because he's he's premature, so he doesn't like, he doesn't do it like he's supposed to, so sometimes he just hurts my nipples and then I have to. A lot of the times I have to like what I've been doing is pumping so that he, he has my milk along with formula. So I'm like breastfeeding and giving him formula both. But it's hard, it's really hard, and like you have to pump every so often so that your milk supply doesn't die down. You, if you want your baby to be breastfed and like latch onto your breast, you have to really work hard at it. And then your nipples are raw and you still have nipples barely any okay reason 346, but those are the things like I didn't know it hurts.
Speaker 1:So like people say it hurts like yeah some people told. Some people told me yeah, it really hurts, but you don't understand why it hurts, like I didn't understand why it hurt. Like it hurts because, like your boobs are extra heavy. I had Diana touch my boobs earlier, Like they're so heavy.
Speaker 1:Like I was like, do you guys want to touch? They're heavy, they're heavy, they're heavy and like they're like hard right here, hard, okay. Um. Then the suctioning from the pump and the baby like makes your nipples raw so they're just tender to the touch like it's, it's, it's awful, yeah, and I'm glad that there are women out there that really enjoy it and I, I applaud you because I don't know or why yeah, I guess that's the thing.
Speaker 2:It's such a unique experience for everyone because we're all so different and we talked about, like pain, tolerance and things like that. It's so, so different.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes um, but yeah, breastfeeding has been a trip for me. Um, I will continue to do it a little longer okay I think I want to go like up until three months and then maybe move him to just formula and I I feel okay with it. There are plenty of children that are raised in formula and they do just great.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to allow myself to feel any mom guilt, because one of the things as a mother that I got really good at was mom guilt. Did you get good at mom guilt? It was like was mom guilt? Did you get good at mom guilt?
Speaker 3:it was like instant, oh yeah instant mom, guilt like mom guilt just came like it was immediately with the baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got baby, you got guilt. Yeah, as soon as I saw it really did.
Speaker 1:Recent number 347 as soon as I saw that baby in that nikki, I was like mom guilt immediately.
Speaker 3:It was my fault I did this to him. I should have.
Speaker 1:I should have taken better care of myself. I should have had the sugar. I should have done this if I would have walked more often, if I would have like there was a list of things about why it was my fault that this baby was in the niki and, like you, are the one that did it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was my, was my fault.
Speaker 1:It was completely all my fault.
Speaker 3:Sorry, we're just laughing in the background my.
Speaker 1:God, jerome and Diane are having a secret conversation. We want to know what's happening.
Speaker 3:No, you guys are not cool enough. Anyway, continue talking about your mother, about your mother.
Speaker 1:We're going to have to edit so much of this.
Speaker 3:No, not even people enjoy this.
Speaker 1:People like this, not this this is provocative keep talking about your titties titties hurt all the time, bro. I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3:I remember that you had a little rant on Facebook and like I saw that and I was like oh my gosh, like I know I'm not a mother and I don't Facebook. And like I saw that and I was like, oh my gosh, Like I know I'm not a mother and I don't feel it and I don't know what that feels like, but like damn, it hurt me to like hear about you hurting. And then I clutched on my tits and I was like girls girls hold on.
Speaker 1:You got this.
Speaker 2:You got this.
Speaker 1:Anyway. I love how we went from motherhood to titties.
Speaker 3:I know, but don't feel guilty. One thing I could say is don't feel guilty, you know. You're right do you think kids are born bad or created?
Speaker 1:oh man, what is it uh? Nature versus nurture uh-huh I can't, I can't decide that yet. I've thought about that my whole life I think it's both of them.
Speaker 3:I think it has to be a little bit. Yeah, I think so too yeah, so how's your kid so far? He's good, he better be good, he looks like a sweet kid yeah, he's so cute, we're tired that's another thing, are you okay am?
Speaker 1:I okay, um, I am okay now okay, I wasn't okay at the beginning.
Speaker 3:I think the beginning was hard.
Speaker 1:Um, postpartum is. It's a. It's a, it's a tough one. Um, I don't have the I. I didn't need my laptop. No, it's okay. But I was reading this thing about how, like, your hormone levels drop like I don't know how many hundreds of times when you have. Like like five days after you have the baby, your hormones are dropping a hundred percent or something like that than how they were. So that's why women feel the way they do, because, like you have, that is like the most the biggest drop in hormone there ever will be in your body.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:After you have a baby, and that's why you're like.
Speaker 3:Is that the? Is that like postpartum depression? Is that that? Is that like the start of it? Or some could be the start of it? Yeah, because your hormones are like at an all-time high when you're pregnant and all of a sudden it's like and I'm sorry and we like know about this, but yet there's nothing being done about this.
Speaker 1:I don't know if there's much being done about it. I know I know that for me, because I do suffer from anxiety that they did recommend my my my doctor did recommend that I kept myself in with my anxiety medication because that would help my hormone levels.
Speaker 3:Anxiety, um, after birth okay, so I did do that okay, yeah, but unfortunately and I mean going back to the mental health, uh kind of conversation unfortunately it's not very common for people to take care of themselves like that, so a lot of times they may not know what they're experiencing.
Speaker 1:The thing is like. One of the things I realized is that when you're a mom and I wish we had a mic for her, nancy can you please move, my chair doesn't move right now, I don't know why I'm stuck here.
Speaker 3:We'll have another mom episode.
Speaker 1:Let me write it down but one of the things I did, uh, realize is like, once you become a mom, like you start to lose yourself in the baby, like you start to lose yourself and I'm sure this happened to you you have, you have to like they're, they're giving you a baby to keep alive and you have to focus on keeping this little precious soul alive. And so you have to feed it, you have to bathe it, you have to focus on keeping this little precious soul alive, and so you have to feed it, you have to bathe it, you have to change it, you have to tend to all the baby's needs and then your 24-7.
Speaker 1:24-7 reason 348 and then your needs kind of just go on the back burner and so like there are times when you're like, oh shit, I'm tired, but the baby's hungry but, I need to pump, but I need to feed, I need to, I need to, I need to. Baby needs, baby needs, baby needs. And I want to give a huge shout out to my husband because, honestly, I don't know how people can do this on their own.
Speaker 1:I don't know how you can be a single parent Like if you. I know so many women that are single parents. I or men or men, I, you guys, are amazing, You're superheroes, you're, you're, you're the best, because I, I couldn't do this alone.
Speaker 2:There's no way in hell that I could do this alone I was thinking about that when you were talking how important is to have like a really good support system.
Speaker 1:Luckily for you, you have your husband your village, yeah your mom and us like we're here for you all the time all the ts.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for people who have to do it on their own there.
Speaker 1:There's no way. There's no way I, I could I people figure it out.
Speaker 3:Yeah you have to right, you have to have to but how exhausting.
Speaker 1:Like jerome took three weeks off and he was so great and he was like I got baby throughout the night you sleep. You know what that did for my body and for me. Like it was amazing, like I.
Speaker 1:I was allowed to rest rest and relax and be there for baby and be there for myself, like I know a lot of women didn't get to because my husband took over at night and he was like I'm also a dad and I'm also going to take care of him and teach me like, let's do this. He doesn't like diaper changing and you know what, I don't care because he does everything else for this baby.
Speaker 2:I'll change all the diapers, like I'm not gonna shame him like I don't care.
Speaker 1:I will take all the diapers because this man stays up with this baby and he takes care of him go jerome.
Speaker 3:Yes, he's the best.
Speaker 1:Get him on the podcast and if you're a dad and you're not being supportive step up, figure it out figure yourself out please this is not okay it's so funny.
Speaker 2:Whenever we hear about I think we mainly hear in dads when they have to babysit the kids. Oh yeah, like, oh, you have to babysit your own child. You're supposed to call it parenting.
Speaker 3:You're parenting your own child. I'm sorry, you're supposed to call it parenting. You're parenting your own child no, yeah, but I've heard that yeah, I've heard it too.
Speaker 1:No, thank you interesting I hate that.
Speaker 3:I mean, I have no knowledge about this, but about being a parent. But, um, I've had experiences when males are like, oh, I'm ready to be a dad, and they tell me this and I'm like what? And then I'm like, okay, but are you really ready to be a father? Like you say you're ready to be a dad, but like, are you ready for the dad duties, like the fatherly stuff? And then he unblocked me and then he blocked me.
Speaker 1:I'm like okay, so that was a no yeah, so I was like he wasn't wanted to say, he took the trash he took himself out the trash I was like because he was ready for you to be a mom, so he could just pretend to be it exactly and I hate that.
Speaker 3:That happens very often exactly, and he gets the title and he gets the cool dad vibes or whatever, but you didn't raise the kid. Motherfucker. How the fuck? I'm over here raging and I don't even have children he's still blocked.
Speaker 1:On behalf of all the single, all the single parents I was okay with that.
Speaker 3:I okay, I don't like, I don't mind it I don't mind it when people like me. Yeah, I'm like, bye, see, ya, have a good day. Bye anyways, he took, yeah, he took himself out, but yeah I think it's very stupid whenever people um they're like oh, you're babysitting the kids today. Like I know, these are my kids I'm taking care of my kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you see your kids.
Speaker 2:You, you take care of your kids yeah, what else have you learned from tell us now that you have a baby with you?
Speaker 1:I've learned um. I've learned that I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2:I don't think anyone's ever really ready I was like I'm ready. I'm 40 years old okay, yes, we talked about, yeah, you having kids since I met you, yeah I wanted to be a mother since I was like 25 like oh shit I was ready and then baby came and I was like oh shit, what am I doing?
Speaker 3:how do you do this?
Speaker 1:I think life was like oh you wanted um I've learned that there are so many good people in this that I've been so blessed to surround myself with really, really good people that really love me and have shown so much support for me and Jerome and the baby. Like I always get texts and people come, show up and just hang out and good vibes and when baby was in the NICU I always had people checking in on me and making sure I was okay, so I'm really grateful for that. I've learned I have really good, good, good people in my life.
Speaker 2:I think this is a good time to say you're welcome.
Speaker 3:I am so glad to be part of your village. I won't be changing diapers either.
Speaker 1:You're not a real tia until you change diapers. Suck my dick A dirty one too.
Speaker 3:No, I'm sorry I didn't do that with my nephew You're not a real tia. But here's the thing my mom took over. She was like mine. No, lo estás haciendo bien? No, I didn't even try.
Speaker 2:She knew you weren't capable.
Speaker 3:Exactly, she was saving the baby from you, not you from the baby. I was just a little girl, this is last year diana what do you mean? Hold on he's eight years old.
Speaker 1:This is last year.
Speaker 3:Figure yourself out, diana oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Um yeah, no, I learned. I keep learning every day every day I learn something new.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, um, what about? I know one thing that a lot of moms have to talk about because they get asked. Something that I think not a lot of dads get asked about is work. Do you have anything to say about that? Like you know, I think a lot of. I've heard a lot of moms being asked about oh, how do you manage to do both, or why do you choose to do one over the other, or which I think is something that you don't really ask the dad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah that's weird, so I don't know. Do you have any thoughts on that?
Speaker 1:I feel like for me I would love to be able to stay home with baby, just because I am older, having him and I don't have that energy that I used to have, and also like I don't want to miss all the little things you know. But at the same time I understand that for a lot, of, a lot of us it's not a possibility. You know, like sometimes we just have to go back to work and you just have to just have to do what you have to do, right, um? So I think, if you're able, mentally also, it's draining to be with baby all the time, like there are times when jerome gets home and I'm like I want to go drive around.
Speaker 1:I need to get out of the house like and jerome will stay with baby, you know, because it's hard to be home all the time, right I? I want to go to the store. Just like to clear my head, for a little bit by yourself, that's good. And so you looked at you like what.
Speaker 2:Excuse me. Excuse me, are you?
Speaker 1:trying to leave me with dad.
Speaker 3:Who's?
Speaker 1:always trying to teach me things. But yeah, I feel like if mentally it feels good for you, then I feel like just do what feels good for you, like, yeah, for me it would feel good to be home, be able to stay with him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think what feels good and what works for your family.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and your situation and your needs. I suppose If you don't have kids, don't ask people too many of those questions, Because sometimes it's hard for mothers to be like I don't know.
Speaker 3:It's a tough conversation Because if I had that conversation for me, it would make me me sad, because I feel like I'd be missing out on work and like missing out on promotions and stuff like that. Um, so for me it would be a difficult conversation. So yeah maybe just be a little more sensible when inquiring about that. Yeah well, sorry, don't be pushed. No, no, no, well, this is different, hold on all right, shame corner don't be pushy about those conversations.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's true, it's real that I've heard a lot of people ask women and not men yeah about that and I don't know. It's just so interesting. A lot of the times they're not.
Speaker 1:You're not gonna assume that, as a man, you're gonna stay and watch a baby like you're not gonna be a stay-at-home father right you know like that's the assumption, but I know plenty of men that have that. Do it like my brother did it for a while. Yeah, um, it worked out for him and his wife like his little family. He was going to school while she was working and he was staying with baby, and it just worked out yeah and one of my really good friends.
Speaker 1:Her husband's a stay-at-home dad and they it works out really well for them right but I think people assume because you're a father, you're, that's just not many enough. Yeah, you're just a provider and you're gonna go and right work.
Speaker 3:I hope it changes me too I like the idea of like having a stay-at-home dad. It's a different vibe you.
Speaker 2:You think you would like that I would like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would, I would do it. I would work, work bitch, make more money, shmoney. Well, here's the thing Men do make more money, unfortunately.
Speaker 2:Well, so I would. Something that we need to fix.
Speaker 3:Yeah, first let's call the US government.
Speaker 1:We have a couple things to talk about stop it.
Speaker 3:Give me the attention that I need.
Speaker 1:No, I mean nancy. What do you want? Do you want to talk about something?
Speaker 2:else, we haven't seen each other in a while. What should we talk about?
Speaker 1:uh, what is something?
Speaker 2:that bothers me. No, no, no, you know, we live a happy life.
Speaker 3:This is everyone's favorite segment. What is it?
Speaker 2:you say it I want you to hear it from your words welcome, whack witches I had to do it.
Speaker 1:I had to do it what are we talking shit about today.
Speaker 3:What are we talking?
Speaker 1:what pissed you off?
Speaker 2:it's been a long time and one of our listeners said that you should have a whole episode and someday we will have a whole rant everything will be ranting coming soon 2030 just wait for it 2030 will be the also the one asmr and her full episode about diana yep exactly shoot.
Speaker 3:That was supposed to be this year 2030.
Speaker 2:You didn't get the memo about the.
Speaker 3:I didn't dang it, you guys. Anyways, what pissed you off? Um, today we're talking about I know you guys don't like to hear about it, some of you do, some of you don't we're getting political. I know you guys don't like to hear about it Some of you do, some of you don't we're getting political. I don't give a fuck. You suck my pee, pee Again. Again, we are talking about the TikTok ban and the relief plan that is attached to it 95 billion, a 95 billy going outside of the US. This article says countries uh, we're gonna avoid that word because some of it is going to israel and gaza. Um, we're just gonna talk shit about them real quick. By the way, no, I'm just kidding, I'm just annoyed, first of all, that the first tiktok. I don't really use it. Good for people that do use it. I think it's the dumbest idea to ban it just because it doesn't meet the expectations of the us government well, because they're not the ones getting the information from us exactly
Speaker 3:they're getting it through every other thing that we use exactly, but not from that so they're getting information from facebook, they're getting information from instagram, basically part of it, they're most likely getting a snapchat, twitter x yeah yeah, I have to cover my phone, my phone speakers, to make sure they don't hear the stupid shit that I'm saying all the time.
Speaker 1:Cover it right now because, I know I'm doing it right now. The government's gonna come after you.
Speaker 2:How do I cover my laptop too, though wait, someone's knocking. Did you hear that Stop?
Speaker 3:CIA, cia, what Not that one?
Speaker 2:Not that one.
Speaker 3:No, we're just. Yeah, exactly. They're not the ones receiving the information, so they're here. So they either said you have to sell it within nine months, or you have to, or it's going to get banned, it's going to get shut down. And I mean they want it to be sold, most likely to someone in the us, so they get the information from the users. And I mean I don't like tiktok, but I do like the fact that it shares a lot of information, a lot of misinformation too, but whatever you get the good with the bad right, but it's sharing a lot of information and people are not going to be able to communicate like important information within these apps. And that's what the, the biggest communicator, is right now. Right, right, and then the 29, the 99, the 95 billion. First of all, do we not have enough issues in the us? Apparently not, apparently not. We don't. Is Apparently not, apparently not. We don't. I'm sorry, let's not take care of the veterans. Yeah, let's just send the $95 billion outside. What?
Speaker 2:No, don't. We have a homelessness situation.
Speaker 3:A pandemic. I don't know if it's called a pandemic or not. We don't need any health care. Yeah, we don't get any health care. The food we don't get any health care. Uh, the food is becoming, I don't want to say toxic, but I mean there's all all these sort of issues with the food, um, with viruses and bacteria and stuff like that. We don't take care of that and uh, yeah, but here we are taking care of other.
Speaker 3:Let me take the other places it is. Some of it is going to ukraine, I guess we'll give it to them taiwan, israel, gaza and another place. But yeah, um, yeah. So this is my little rant for today. I wish we could isolate just a little bit. The us, so we should, you know, to take care of ourselves, to maybe create a better health care system or actually create a healthcare system and make it less private. I feel like it is very privatized right now and that's why they're they won't do it, cause they're making a shit ton of money, um, but yeah, I really wish we could isolate for a little bit and just take care of ourselves first, before we start taking it. We will continue taking care of other places and don't shut down the fucking stupid app that allows us to communicate and talk shit about other stuff that allows us to talk shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly I mean obviously it serves a good purpose to an extent I just honestly, honestly, I just don't see why it's such a big deal, like I mean, I get it, like I get the political bullshit that they're talking about, but I'm like a stupid app. Yeah, like, really, like you're so worried about it, like what?
Speaker 2:yeah it's just so dumb, I don't I yeah, I mean, I guess I understand in the sense of like security, but, like I'm saying, it's just because they're not the ones getting the information, because we're giving information to everyone, to the government, all the time you have a phone. If you have a phone with free applications.
Speaker 1:Guess what you're giving it's not free information.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not free. You're just giving away something else that you may or may not know about yeah, right.
Speaker 2:So I think the issue is that it's just going to a different country. It's going to China. It's going to China.
Speaker 3:Do we like China?
Speaker 2:China as a country. It looks beautiful.
Speaker 3:It's a beautiful culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah Great.
Speaker 1:I know we got to get us like quiet Walking on eggshells here. We don't want to get in trouble, huh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I don't want to get a knock from certain government groups. There's worse people out there, not me though. I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl. Sometimes I have thoughts, opinions. Sometimes I have opinions.
Speaker 2:Sometimes yeah, sometimes I read those articles. That's a problem for a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you having a girl with opinions? Okay, no, you don't have tiktok.
Speaker 2:You have tiktok yeah, um, I was a tiktoker for a while.
Speaker 1:I posted like five things you need to keep going with that because you're so good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you show me a tiktok dance.
Speaker 1:Huh, tiktok dance I do anything, but oh no, no dances, just because my niece are not her niece.
Speaker 2:She's got old lady. My knees are not healthy. It's not just the knees, girl, you know what?
Speaker 3:Anyways, why did your career in TikTok end?
Speaker 2:As a TikToker. I was a TikToker for a minute, but I just feel like I had to focus on other things, you know, so I didn't invest enough time she had to pursue her relationships more.
Speaker 1:I think it was taking a toll on her relationship, how many Her family relationship to pursue her relationships?
Speaker 2:more. I think it was a toll on her relationship. Really, how many family and family relationships?
Speaker 3:all the relationships. Yeah, you should check her phone where's your phone?
Speaker 2:nancy sen is very demanding. This senior right here, yeah, she needs a lot of attention.
Speaker 3:So I'm sorry, I'm looking at both and I'm like both of them do.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding. We're not toxic here.
Speaker 1:Not at all, not one bit um, I guess closing thoughts on motherhood well, well, I'm glad we're back.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm so happy to see you guys. I've seen you and the baby.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm glad to see you, diana. Kind of Same.
Speaker 2:Mutual. I'm excited to start recording again. I'm so happy for you and proud of you and Jerome. Thank you.
Speaker 1:You guys have a beautiful baby.
Speaker 3:He's pretty cute. We like him. You're keeping the baby right. Yes, Beautiful.
Speaker 1:We decided.
Speaker 3:As of today we're keeping him. Almost two months in I feel like you had a good trial period.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so, even though he doesn't sleep well at night and he doesn't like to be put down at all.
Speaker 3:What's the return method like?
Speaker 1:I don't know yet. I didn't ask before the return policy, the method. What's the policy on these?
Speaker 3:Is it a 30-day or 60-day?
Speaker 1:return, just kidding.
Speaker 3:Does it have a lifetime warranty? What if I used it already?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know what happens. Anyways, we're very proud of you. You're proud of both of you guys congratulations.
Speaker 3:I hope you have 20 more children I wish, I wish.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I'll have another one, but trust me when I say that if I would have met jerome many years ago, I would have had like 12 hell. Yeah, brother, I wish you guys would have seen Gerald's face.
Speaker 3:He's like whoa.
Speaker 1:He's five, babe, five.
Speaker 3:Remember we're talking about hypothetical what if children?
Speaker 2:He's still freaking out. He's like no, no.
Speaker 3:Not five. He was freaked out about two, one and a half.
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. Ten years ago we'd be sitting here, six kids up there minimum, minimum, minimum. Yeah, I believe it yeah, yeah, a pair of twins, oh yeah, that would have been cool.
Speaker 3:What if that's like you're? What if your next children? That's why I don't know if I'm gonna have three kids.
Speaker 1:Like I was manifesting, twins for this one go around, because I was like yeah, you were I'm old and if I can get twins and I'll have to do it again, yeah, but I manifested twins so hard that if I get pregnant again, I'll probably have to or three or three.
Speaker 3:I really did want triplets too. Oh well.
Speaker 2:I didn't know better. Life happens. Now I know You're like. One at a time is fine, it's okay.
Speaker 3:Maybe just one more yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever works out for you guys.
Speaker 2:Any final thoughts from you, Diana?
Speaker 3:I was going to say something bad. I'm not going to say it. It's going to be a bad word, but I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 1:Good job, thanks. Anyways, I do have a final thought. Um, go for it. As somebody that just had a baby, I guess I didn't realize and I did this often. Um, I asked often people that were older and people that were married if they wanted to have kids or what, when the kids were coming and we had a little bit of trouble getting a baby or getting to the baby, and it was hard when people would ask us hey, are you planning on having a baby or what's the plan on babies? I know that a lot of the times it doesn't come from a place of like, mean or any bad, it's just excitement. But there are a lot of men and women just going through a lot of problems or trouble when it comes to with, when it comes to babies and having babies or navigating the idea of having a baby.
Speaker 1:Um. So just be mindful of those, of those feelings for people. A lot of people don't want to have babies and that's okay. You shouldn't have to explain why you don't want to have babies, like you just don't want to have babies, or you're longing for a baby and you can't have a baby, or you lost the baby and you don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1:Right, like, just don't press the conversations about children, because there's so much behind it than just yes or no you know, so, um, I think that's one of the things I really learned with having a baby, and that's one of the things I wish we could change as a society I like it be sensitive.
Speaker 3:Be courteous, be considerate, mind your own business mind your own business that's my closing thought.
Speaker 2:Mind your own business that was was my thought, so technically you need your own I well, you know what I'm going to say.
Speaker 3:Say it I miss you, nancy, love you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, thank you for listening and welcome back.
Speaker 3:Yay, glad to be back, mother.
Speaker 2:Yes, bye, bye, love you, welcome back. Yay, glad to be back. Yes, bye, love you. Thank you for listening to latina state of mind produced by us, your awesome hosts, diana senia and yancy. Special shout out to jerome, our editor don't forget to follow us on instagram at lsom underscore podcast and on facebook at latina state of mind. Hasta la proxima.
