Latina State of Mind
Join our lively Latina trio as they dive into thought-provoking and relatable conversations on this episode of Latina State of Mind. From tackling tough and honest topics to just simply hanging out and having fun, you won't want to miss a minute of this episode. Listen in as they bring in special guests and professionals to provide guidance and insights, making this podcast a must-listen for anyone looking to broaden their perspectives and expand their knowledge. Tune in now for a fresh and exciting take on life, culture, and everything in between. Get ready to be inspired and entertained with Latina State of Mind.
Latina State of Mind
Challenging Toxic Dynamics in the Professional World
From enduring sexist remarks from a religious manager to witnessing blatant preferential treatment towards her male colleagues, we shed light on the hidden challenges many women face in the workplace. Our candid recounting of these experiences is a powerful reminder of the necessity for supportive and respectful management.
Ever felt overshadowed by less competent colleagues who inexplicably rise through the ranks? We dissect the insidious nature of workplace favoritism and how it undermines genuine efforts and morale. Our conversation expands to cover critical topics like diversity hires, racism, sexism, and the baffling phenomenon of "failing upwards." These discussions underscore the urgent need for a management culture that values every employee's contribution and promotes inclusivity.
Balancing work and self-care is not just essential—it's transformative. Jacob joins us to offer his invaluable insights on how to maintain this equilibrium and find joy in your professional life. As we wrap up, we extend heartfelt gratitude to everyone involved in the production of this episode and invite our listeners to follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more enriching content. Tune in for a thought-provoking episode that aims to foster better workplace practices and personal well-being.
this is latina state of mind, a podcast created by latinas for all audiences, where we can share our experiences about love, life and everything in between. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Latina State of Mind. Hello, how are you guys? Great, this is Senia talking to you. This is Diana.
Speaker 2:And I'm Nancy, and we have a recurring guest.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hello. How's it going. I'm here too, I'm Jacob.
Speaker 1:And Jacob is going to help us talk about toxic behavior in the workplace.
Speaker 3:Never. Never I've never happen, never, never.
Speaker 2:I've never heard of it. We're going to have to look it up.
Speaker 1:I'm on it. Diana's looking for some toxic traits in the workplace. She doesn't know what that is, she can't relate Neither can I, can you guys start with this, because maybe Nancy knows a little bit more.
Speaker 2:From what I've seen, because not from what I've done, obviously.
Speaker 4:I've been. I've had really good jobs and I've had one crappy job only one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 4:I used to sell vehicles, I used to sell cars and, uh, I had. It was all men, literally.
Speaker 2:The only women was me, and the cleaning lady right First red flag, right Yep.
Speaker 4:No, I will give them a little credit because they hired me for the reason of being a little bit more diverse, right?
Speaker 3:The token, but were you the only one?
Speaker 4:I was the Hispanic one and the female. They got two births once.
Speaker 2:Oh look at them go, those men Smart too Wow.
Speaker 3:You made it way too easy on them.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I should have asked for more, no, but I didn't last long at that job. I was there for 10 months. I was learning a lot. I had great coworkers. They taught me a lot. They taught me a lot about the industry. They taught me a lot, even how to work with the actual devices that I needed to open up the vehicles. Learning about the vehicles. It was great. That part was great. What sucked were my managers. One of them was gross. They were both gross, but differently gross. One of them was and he was so religious, but he was so disgusting when he was referring to women and the things that he would say in front of me. I'm like, if you're saying those things in front of me, what are you saying behind me? Or what are you saying to the other males?
Speaker 3:um, what are you saying to yourself in your head?
Speaker 4:yeah, and he I know a youth pastor or something like that. I know he was very into the christian religion, doing whatever he was doing, and I'm how are you doing this? How do you talk to people like that? Anyways, he was gross sexually and he would always make me feel uncomfortable. He would always go behind my back and scare me and I'm like don't fucking touch me. And he would want hugs from me.
Speaker 2:And I would be like.
Speaker 4:I know and I and I would like swerve and then give him knuckles because I'm like no, no, I don't want to touch you, uh. And then the other one. He was just gross, like physically he would think, oh. And I saw him cut his nails in the workplace and I was like I don't know if that's a, I don't know if that's a lot, but for me that was a lot that's a bold move.
Speaker 4:That's disgusting, that's a statement and um, they yeah, they were both very toxic. One of them, the gross gross one, the smelly gross one, to differentiate them, he would always prefer to help my male co-workers first of course yeah he, we would.
Speaker 4:People would come in inquiring about vehicles. A lot of them would ask for basically the car fax. We had something different, but basically that's what the thing, and I always like providing them that because I'm like we always the good thing about this place is that we always took in great vehicles. We always took care of the vehicles. We always try to be have a lot of quality. So I didn't mind sharing that information with the, with the clients. But uh, if I were to ask for this, I needed a manager to print this off. If I were to ask for this, I would never get it. And so I ended up befriend I know I ended up befriending the service people and they would help me out all the time with all this information. But but I'm like but you're my sales manager, so why aren't you not helping me out Like you're helping out my other coworkers who are males?
Speaker 3:Because he is a misogynist. That's just how that works. To simply put it yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And it was. I also got yelled at by another manager there for not knowing certain things, and I'm like what. I'm like what. I'm new to this and I thought it was very inappropriate for that to happen. He yelled at me for not knowing certain things and I was like I didn't even know how to react at that moment.
Speaker 1:I was just like what I think it's a toxic thing if you're a manager and you're yelling at your employees. First of all, don't yell at employees Like you're not their parent, Like what the fuck.
Speaker 3:It's literally never appropriate. There's never a situation where that's going to help.
Speaker 1:Exactly Like if you're my manager and you're yelling at me, it makes me not want to work for you. Like, okay, you're going to yell at me, I'm just going to sit here and whatever I did wrong, I'm going to do it again, just to fucking piss you off. Like that's how that's going to work out. No, not at all. Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know what else he did to me that I just remembered. So we had a cop come in and he was interested in purchasing a vehicle, like an undercover vehicle, and he specifically gave me that client because he knew that I was Hispanic and that there was a level of discomfort between me and the cop. And I was like, no, you picked the the wrong person. I don't give a fuck. But like I saw, like the I don't know, I saw him like the smirk in his face when he was like, oh, he's a cop, and I was like, okay, good for you. I did end up selling the vehicle because the this is information for everyone um, I didn't end up selling the vehicle because their gun box or whatever chest it was too big for the vehicle. Um, huh what? Yeah, so it's gun box chest, I don't know what to call it safe, um, but anyways, uh, that happened and I thought, no, don't try to make me feel uncomfortable, don't try to do that to me.
Speaker 4:I'm the wrong person to do that kind of like intimidate you yeah, try to intimidate me and he was very white, he was very trumpist, I guess I don't know if that's the appropriate say to appropriate word to say I think you just immediately fully described the person you're talking about?
Speaker 2:I think we all white man.
Speaker 4:He was actually red, because for some reason he was red, I don't know like a ginger no, he was, his skin was red he was like sunburned.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was sunburned. Maybe he had a condition I think racism was his.
Speaker 4:I think that's what it was. That's true it. But anyway, racism turned him red.
Speaker 2:Would it not? Are any of us red here?
Speaker 4:Nope Proven. But yeah, that was my experience about a toxic workplace and that's honestly it and I'm grateful for that. I've had other great managers, including my manager now great managers, including my manager.
Speaker 1:Now he, you know, even though I'm in the corporate, corporate world, he tries to be, he tries to manage it, make us feel better about that world and I appreciate that a lot that's awesome yeah, I think I've had a lot of bad jobs, but I think that the one thing I'm gonna bring up and I'm sure that you guys have all dealt with it is, um, your co-workers not taking responsibility for their actions. Like I hate working with people that like refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
Speaker 1:Like if you made a mistake we all make mistakes like I'm just own it, just say, oh shoot, sorry, I didn't know that was a thing, like I wasn't sure how to do it, instead of I didn't do that, when everybody knows that they did it I think that's for me one of my biggest pet peeve and, like a super toxic, it shows a lack of maturity right, yes, it's so annoying, like I hate it, like just, if I know how to do it and you need help, I'm gonna help you and I'm not gonna judge you if you're new to this or whatever. Let's just and that's what you're how to do it and you need help, I'm going to help you and I'm not going to judge you if you're new to this or whatever.
Speaker 3:Let's just do it and that's what you're supposed to do, right, because you're like a team, exactly and when you don't take responsibility.
Speaker 1:It just makes it like so annoying and so hard on everybody else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's no trust, right, because if they can't be accountable, then what else are they exactly? Makes you wonder. I think I've been pretty lucky, for the most part too, with like great people. Um, if anything, the only thing I've seen is, um, like in previous jobs, that perhaps, like management, needed more training. I think people think that just because you've been in a position for a long time, then that qualifies you immediately to lead other people, but there are other qualities that that person needs to have as well. Yeah, but yeah, I think for the most part I've been pretty lucky, and then I've met great people like you guys so yeah, no, I think I've been fortunate.
Speaker 3:Hopefully it stays like that I think I've had a lot of really great individual managers too. My biggest problem has been like the company culture, kind of eating your soul piece by piece. You know, like the job I had before this one.
Speaker 4:We're a family.
Speaker 3:You're trying to make money and we know that Pay me more.
Speaker 3:My job before this one. It was my first IT job. I was just getting into it and I tried really hard and, like anything they needed, I would like learn it and do it and put my best foot forward. And they kept promoting me and giving me these teeny tiny raises and it got to a point where I was working six days a week, I had two phones and I hadn't gotten a pay increase in any time at all. And I looked up. I got pushed over the edge when I looked up, like my job title and how much money they were supposed to make versus how much they were paying me. It wasn't even on the scale. It was like below the minimum, like by every metric yeah yeah, it was horrible.
Speaker 3:They abused me. It was terrible it's, it sucks.
Speaker 2:How do we feel about the culture where we're not allowed to share how much money we're making?
Speaker 4:I think it's so dumb. Um, I had a negotiations teacher who was like you have to share this information. You have to know where your co-workers are, you have to know where you are like. This isn't information that you should keep to yourself, because that's what the companies want you to do. They don't want you to be informed and they don't. And luckily, in the state of colorado, um, companies are required to share like a scale or like a payment scale, but that's not the case in every state.
Speaker 2:But even then I had a job for a little while, a part time job, and then I found out that my male counterpart made more money than me when I was way better at the job.
Speaker 4:And what was this position if you're able to share like a general?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it was like cleaning, oh a cleaning position, and we had started like around at around the same time and he was making more money than you making more money than me, why he was also white oh my god, I mean, that says it all yeah, so now we know what. But anyways, yeah, it's, it's insane. And but I've heard that so many times that like, oh, you can't, like, don't disclose that, you know it's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, it's insane and but I've heard that so many times that like, oh, you can't, like, don't disclose that.
Speaker 3:You know it's yeah, that's pervasive in like workplace culture throughout like all the united states, you're not supposed to talk about how much money you make it's really taboo and that's like this is gonna sound a little extreme. That's just fascism. Yeah, straight up, like you're, you're discouraging your labor of your, of your nation, from communicating and working together and trying to support each other which you have to know that information if you're going to do and they just say straight up don't do that that's frowned upon right, that's oppression and that's bad.
Speaker 1:We need to yeah, we need to not be okay with that I think I learned this from diana because she was always like um, she always talked about these things with me at work and I remember there was a time where they were giving us a raise in the place that we worked together at and it was a super shitty raise. And I remember she asked me like how much I was making and I felt uncomfortable telling her because I think I've been told not to tell people. And then she told me she's like it's OK to tell, like you know, like it's fine. And then I was like, yeah, it is fine to tell, like why wouldn't I tell you? And then I told her and she was like, oh, I'm making about this much, and like realized that I had a lead position and I was only making like a dollar more than what they were making.
Speaker 1:And I was like that felt really shitty because I had more responsibilities Right, Because I had more responsibilities right, and so I feel I felt like at that moment in my life it made sense that if other people asked me, I'd share, so that they knew, hey, this is how much I make or how much you make, or stuff like that. But yeah, I think you're right. Like that's such a toxic way of having us live our lives.
Speaker 3:It's like it's really clear.
Speaker 1:It is directly exists so they can do things like that to you. Yeah, exactly what do you guys think about favoritism at the workplace?
Speaker 4:it's noticeable, I see it I see it at my workplace, yeah, and I'm like, damn, you know, I I don't think I'll ever. First of all, I am not going to be trying enough to get to that position. You've never been the favorite. I've never. Well, that's a lie. Um, I don't. But I will not personally go above and beyond to become someone's favorite. Okay, if someone wants me to be their favorite, I'll accept it. Great, thank you. But I won't personally go out my way to do this and I feel and you.
Speaker 4:It's so noticeable whenever people are like do trying to get the attention of the higher-ups in order to become um their favorites, and I'm like, it's like those people that don't do anything all day and as soon as they see a manager, they pretend to be doing all the things at once click clack, click clack, we're game I've said that so many times.
Speaker 2:It's embarrassing. Don't do that.
Speaker 4:That's tacky it is it really is, and I'm like, and everyone else can see it around you, and then no one's gonna like you because of that. And yeah, I mean, if you're doing it and if you're actually like progressing or going out of your way to like take more courses or whatever, to become better, good for you, great. But like, if you're only pretending to, yeah, we can tell, we can notice it, and it looks like crap.
Speaker 3:I think if you're a good manager, your whole team should be your favorite, because if anyone's not your favorite, you should be working with them to get better, supporting them so they can do a better job, or getting them off of your team if they really don't want that job, and then building a team where everybody's your favorite because you can depend on all of them.
Speaker 1:And a team where everybody's your favorite because you can depend on all of them and managers who don't do that. You're being lazy. Step it up, jacob. For president. I think one of the worst thing is for me has been like watching management allow, like I I'm not a super hard worker, like I work hard, I'll do what it what, what it takes, and sometimes I'll go above. It depends on the situation in the place. And you know I'll try, but I'm never not gonna do my work. Like I'm never gonna be the person that's gonna be like no, I don't want to do it. Um, unless I don't have work to do, then I'll just chill and cruise, you know. But, um, I think I've always I've been in situations where, like you know that there are people there that don't do shit, but anytime they ask for anything, the management's like, oh yeah, go ahead and do it. Oh yeah, that's fine. And the minute you go in there like hey, I need this, like no, sorry, you can't.
Speaker 1:You can't do that because they know you're the one that's actually working right, and I feel like that has always pissed me off to the max, because it's like I work so hard so that when I ask for something I can get it, or like I, I, you can give back to me what I give to you, but every time I come here it's not, like it's not the same. So I feel like I'm not the only one that this happens to, and I feel like that's one of like the most and um annoying things in in the workplace for me, like there are so many people that don't do anything and yet get everything yeah there's a lot of privilege.
Speaker 4:I don't know where it comes from. I don't get it. I'm just kidding, I do get it. I'm not gonna lie, I'm the, I'm the I. I don't want to say this, but I'm gonna say it. I don't know for a fact, but I think I'm a diversity hire at my workplace and I have some sort of privilege because of that.
Speaker 3:How do you all feel about that? I'm really curious.
Speaker 4:I'm a diversity hire. Yeah, how do you guys feel?
Speaker 2:How do you feel I don't mind it.
Speaker 4:I mean to an extent it's given me the position that I'm currently at Right, yeah, I mean, to an extent it's given me the position that I'm currently at Right, yeah, and if it's going to help me better myself, then why not?
Speaker 2:I think, because we're still at a point in society where we're not being considered as much as other races or groups, ethnicities or groups. You know, if that's necessary and we take advantage of that. I don't see it.
Speaker 3:It's a damn shame that it's necessary. It is we take advantage of that? I don't see. It's a damn shame that it's necessary.
Speaker 1:It is uh-huh. That's the problem. Yeah, sharing a mic is weird. Tina and I are sharing a mic you guys are looking at each other like anyway, is there any other toxic things in the workplace that you can think of?
Speaker 3:I mean it sucks to say that, like once you cover a racist example and then a sexist example, that covers like most of it, which is pretty sad. Yeah, um yeah, but yeah, you know. You know what's toxic to see. It's toxic to see people who do not know what they're doing and they're in a position that they do not deserve, and they somehow stay there and keep moving up and failing upwards.
Speaker 1:And they make so much money.
Speaker 3:And they make ridiculous amounts of money.
Speaker 2:I don't understand.
Speaker 3:And they're totally inept. They're totally incompetent people, but they keep rising to the top somehow, just because they're don't know, they got a firm handshake and white skin and a big smile and a sorority haircut or whatever fraternity haircut, fraternity haircut.
Speaker 4:I just that's another type of uh privilege, fraternity, haircut, no just that bro culture yeah yeah, yeah, bro. We went to. Your dad went to the same college that I went to. I don't know, some shit like that, and so for that reason, and for that reason, and for that reason, I'm gonna hire you.
Speaker 3:Uh, I feel like it happens very often, um, and we don't get to partake on that, unfortunately not yeah, because, like, like, if you can relate to your hiring manager, if he can look at you and see himself, then he's more likely to hire you right, because he thinks you're gonna do a. If he can look at you and see himself, then he's more likely to hire you right, because he thinks you're going to do a good job. He just has this good intuition as a leader, which is bullshit, yeah.
Speaker 4:Has anyone ever, I guess, suffered or micromanagement or been through a micromanagement? Oh yeah, yeah, I haven't experienced it yet but I don't know, I hope you never do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I don't know. I hope you never do.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I think my bitch face kind of like deters that. Talk to me, nicer, don't talk to me at all, you heard it here first bitch face at work. It's more about it.
Speaker 1:I feel like micromanaging um just shows, like the, the insecurity that the manager has in themselves. Like I feel like there's never been a time where I've been micromanaged and I'm like you're an idiot, you don't know what you're doing. I know this better than you do. I've never respected anybody that's micromanaged me, because I feel like every time that that's happened, I know the job better than they do.
Speaker 2:And then it makes you not want to do anything more. Why?
Speaker 1:am I doing it.
Speaker 2:If you're going to come, just do it yourself. What are we doing here? What's the point?
Speaker 3:I've never seen a piece of evidence that would suggest that micromanaging someone makes them more productive. Everyone hates it universally. It only makes people less productive. Don't do it. You're a bad manager if you micromanage. Yes, only makes people less productive.
Speaker 2:Don't do it, you're a bad manager if you micromanage.
Speaker 4:Yes, stop it yeah, no, I just um no but like the comment that I made before, like, oh, we are a family here. It's happened to me before and I was only there for that job for 10, uh, for 10, for three months as well, but they did a little backstabby move on me. Anyways, we won't talk about that Backstabby like family does. Yeah, exactly, I'm like great, thank you for showing me what you did. No, but I personally hate when companies say that sort of.
Speaker 3:It's manipulation.
Speaker 4:It's manipulation. It's manipulation of your emotions emotions.
Speaker 3:It's like I don't want to be called a family.
Speaker 4:I want a paycheck and a steady workflow and some recognition and that and then it feels like a cult to me, like at least the workplace that I was at that said we are a family. It felt like a cult yeah and yeah and I just did. I did not want to be a part of that because they wanted me to be something specific and I'm like no once again wrong person.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like grooming you to be what they want you to be and not complain, and work extra hours say anything and just take it, because we're family, that's what you're supposed to do?
Speaker 3:don't you care about me making billions of dollars, right?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right and paying you a few cents, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to get a piece of a percentage of this, oh you know what's crazy about this job too.
Speaker 4:So we used to get paid like shit and the manager would tell us go donate plasma to get.
Speaker 3:Fuck off, he did not tell you that.
Speaker 4:Wow, she did not tell you that she was like like go donate plasma, uh, here this is my code, like referral code or some shit like that, so she would make money oh my god, what like an mlm. Yeah, so you could get money off of the donation. So you can, you know, supplement your paycheck I don't know but then also use her code so she could get some sort of referral earnings.
Speaker 2:That is insane.
Speaker 3:That's actually bonkers, is that?
Speaker 4:legal? I have no idea. No, jerome said no, it doesn't sound legal.
Speaker 2:It doesn't sound legal Right.
Speaker 4:She used to do this to us. She used to tell us these things. That is crazy.
Speaker 2:Instead of us paying an an appropriate wage like no, go donate plasma and then also I'm gonna be making money off of you doing that, because you're not getting enough money and pass along that referral code please.
Speaker 3:Thank you, disclaimer. I don't think latina state of mind has anything against donating plasma. If you want to do that, that's totally great, please go do that. Yeah, I've done it before, so that she can make money off of you, maybe question it yeah, I tried it definitely tried it once.
Speaker 4:Never again. It gave me a like a big needle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a ton of anxiety. Yeah, really, I've done it a few times I, I just it was.
Speaker 4:There was just a lot of people there and uh, yeah, it was a lot, it was a lot for me and I never I went once never again, but good for you if you do it yeah actually it's like changing lives, yeah, but like being not pressured to do this, but like kind of being pressured to do this to like get some extra income. Yeah, that was a.
Speaker 3:That was a fucked up part yeah what a disrespectful thing to tell to your employees.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh oh, and so this is at a credit union. Uh, and she would tell people clients to do this too, or members? I guess they're considered members hustling and give her code. I don't think she would provide that, but she would tell like, for example, instead of like crediting a late fee, she would be like yeah, just go. If you need some extra funds, just just go do this. That's shitty. She was not great. I was there for three months for a reason. Wow, I hate this woman.
Speaker 4:That's crazy. The credit union itself was great for the members, but she was fucked up. She was really fucked up.
Speaker 1:I had a manager once that anytime anybody had any opinions about like or like, for example, I said I had a bad back, and she would always be like oh, my back is terrible. And somebody said, I'm allergic to something. Oh, I'm allergic to that too. And then this lady was like oh, I have asthma.
Speaker 1:Oh, I have asthma too, I said anybody that had any disease or any problem, any body, anything. She had that too, and so one day we sat there and counted it and it was like 25 things that were wrong with her, because everybody in the place 26, with like a mental health, because everybody in the place that we worked at had, like just mentioned, like lied mentioned something that was wrong with them and she was like oh yeah, that's wrong with me too, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she would just walk around like sick all the time and she would call out sick all the time and I was just like are you okay? Like something's not right with you. But yeah, she was always sick.
Speaker 4:She's allergic to life. It's unfortunate that these people get put in like somehow they make it into positions of power. Yeah, like I don't know exactly how, but like they somehow make it.
Speaker 3:Their parents.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and they stay there too.
Speaker 2:And they get ignored enough to stay there. There, yeah, just somehow fly under the radar. I was just gonna say it makes such a big difference when you have a manager who's doing a good job, like it makes you it makes you want to do a good job, right yes, and I've had.
Speaker 2:I've been like so lucky that I've had people who believe in me more than I believe in myself sometimes that have led me to think for better opportunities, game changer. I don't understand why people wouldn't want that for others everyone would be more productive if we had like positive, charismatic leaders who wanted us to succeed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah anyway, I think there's a lot of like um and envy, maybe in the workplace, or like people not wanting other people to succeed. I feel like that's why we don't have better managers, because you have to be a certain kind of person to want your the people that you that work for you to be at the next level. I feel like as a manager, like I know that there are some people that will never have a better job than what they have and they feel maybe less than so. They don't want to help their employees to be better or to learn or to gatekeeping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's a lot of gatekeeping. But you're right, like if you have somebody that's like pushing you to do the best you can, then that makes you want to like go further and then you get a better job, and then you you know, right, you don't want to leave that manager, obviously, but then they help you get to those opportunities that otherwise you wouldn't get to.
Speaker 4:so I feel like a lot of times management doesn't, doesn't help you out because of their own insecurities, right, and because they don't want to lose a good employee yes, no, but actually I'm glad you brought that point up because I, um, I, my current manager, we've had a lot of great employees, um, and they have left to other better positions and he has guided these employees to the better position.
Speaker 4:And even us, like I, have been interested in the investigation part of the brokerage firm and he's been like you know, like if you want to, you can set up a meeting with one of these people. You won't be able to do like, you won't be able to move the position right now because the other, I guess, department doesn't have the availability, they don't have the open positions. But I'm like, but he's like you can start, you can start knowing about this and if you start getting to know the other people, then they're going to consider you a fit position if a position does open up. But that I'm glad that you brought that point up because it makes a difference. A good person, a good manager, will make a difference in your life and they just do it because they want to help, because they that's what they're.
Speaker 2:That's what they're there for yeah, I've also had people make me feel guilty for wanting better for myself. What do you mean like that right, like looking for better opportunities or whatever? I've been like super lucky to have people who encourage me and help me and guide me, but I've also had people who make me feel guilty for wanting a better life than what I have oh you're gonna leave me behind.
Speaker 3:Oh you're gonna. You're gonna be some goody two-shoes yeah, that's unfortunate. Yeah, we'll suck that's, that's toxic family dynamic why do we?
Speaker 4:always cover toxicity, just kidding, why not? Why not?
Speaker 3:So hey, sinea, you were saying earlier there was a thing that we were going to talk about. I think we're done. I think we said not today, not today, just going to skip it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You want to share final thoughts about toxic behavior in the workplace?
Speaker 3:No, I don't, because you know what time it is.
Speaker 2:I hate that you caught on to me, don't listen to them, don't manipulate you.
Speaker 4:Oh man.
Speaker 3:What pissed you off?
Speaker 4:Man, part three.
Speaker 3:Part three.
Speaker 4:We are obviously going to talk about what's his name.
Speaker 3:Dick Nose McGee. Dick Nose McGee.
Speaker 4:Harrison Buttlicker. He is part of the Kansas City Chiefs. I don't know what they do. They kick stuff. He kicks. Yeah, he is a kicker. Anyways, he recently graduation season Congrats to all the graduates. Go, you guys. Um. But he made a very disturbing speech. And what a commencement speech. And granted, I guess it was at a catholic school, but still doesn't give him the right to talk about other people. But basically he said um, let me go back to it. Um, you guys women have been diabolically lie to lie to that you know your career is not going to be fulfilling enough that you're never going to be. Um, it's yeah. Basically, you've spent a shit ton of money, you spent a lot of time to complete this, but guess what? You know what's going to fulfill you being a mom?
Speaker 4:being a homebody, be a homemaker, being a mom, being a parent, babysitting your husband and your kids that's what's gonna fulfill you. Yeah, and you know what? To some women it might, yeah, but don't first of all a man talking about these feelings to other people. How dare you, how dare he? And his mom is a physicist. His mom is like why didn't a little bit of her intelligence pass on to this individual?
Speaker 4:yeah, that's my little rant, I don't think it's first of all. Uh, what's his position? A kicker at a football team where he may or may not have cte? Um, commenting on the livelihood and of women yeah, maybe some repressed emotions in there yeah work through.
Speaker 3:Maybe he got rejected a few times what is?
Speaker 4:because he's a piece of shit but I mean that's on him yeah, yeah why did he do that to himself, right, yeah, but anyways, I'm just mad at that I think I've been so.
Speaker 1:I love tiktok and I've been watching all the tiktoks about this guy and um, it's just upsetting that another man is sitting there telling women how to live their lives, whatever. Um, but just it's so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pick the bear exactly it's so annoying to have to hear this over and over and over again from these men that think they know best because they're men. That's, that's basically the only reason why he has an opinion, or what he thinks he can share an opinion, about what women should be doing, because he's a man and in his Bible and in his belief he's better than women. And and we're being lied to diabolically because we are not listening to this man Fuck you guy. That's all I have to say about you.
Speaker 3:I think I think this guy is totally not serious. I think he doesn't believe any of that shit and I think he just knows it's a popular thing to say and he's going to get trending on TikTok and he's going to go crazy with it and that's what he did. And I think he's worse than just a misogynist.
Speaker 3:He's like a selfish greedy asshole because, he's spreading a terrible message that's going to be used to further these flames of oppressing women for his own personal benefit and his own personal hashtags on social media and stuff, and it's gross.
Speaker 2:I wonder if he's going to be running for something.
Speaker 3:He might be starting a podcast. He might be going for political office.
Speaker 4:Watch out, because he's going to try to monetize this. That's unfortunate.
Speaker 1:Sorry, took dana's microphone as she was saying. That's unfortunate, but I was just gonna say, like I think someone, there are so many women that live in in relationships where they they're being um hurt by men who believe this bullshit that this guy is feeding. So, like you said, you know, this is just gonna add to that fire of you. See, like you don't need, you don't need a college degree, you don't need to educate yourself.
Speaker 1:You only need me yeah, exactly, you just need a man to fulfill you and babies and you know what, as a mother and a wife, that is very fulfilling and I love being a mother and I love being a wife, but I'm I also love being my own person and I also love going to school and I also love everything else that I do as a woman. Um, so yeah, it's just. It's so sad that we still have to hear this bullshit at this day and age it's so interesting, then like how is it not fulfilling for you?
Speaker 2:what does that say about you? If you think that only the wife is getting fulfillment fulfillment out of having kids in a marriage right like where's your empathy?
Speaker 3:don't you want to like like, love your child?
Speaker 2:and keep a clean home. And what are you? What are you talking about?
Speaker 4:it's, yeah, yeah, it's insane and I'm so glad that you are fulfilled by this. But you made that choice right right like it wasn't someone else telling you to do this. It wasn't your husband telling you to do this. I don't think he would ever do that exactly.
Speaker 1:But I mean, he's smart, yeah, and he's caring and he's compassionate, but I would have never married a man that, but I would have never married a man that would have tried to tell me how to live my life or how to be fulfilled in my life. That's why him and I work so well, because we both would never try to tell each other how to live each other's life. Instead, we live our lives together and we enjoy it and we love each other. Yeah, it goes back to choice Choice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the whole core problem with this. This asshole is that, like you, can't ever tell people how they should live their lives just because they're a woman like that's.
Speaker 4:You can never tell someone what to do, but especially not on the basis of like sex, like what yeah shitty ass person shitty ass person I agree yeah, and it's really unfortunate too, because a lot of women are stuck in relationships because of the same issue that they don't have any financial freedom, and unfortunately, unfortunately, their males are the ones who are the income earners, they are the ones who bring in the bread, I guess. But it's very unfortunate, and so to put more women in this position, or to state that women should be stuck in this position, it's very, uh, very disheartening yeah, damaging, damaging as a whole, exactly, it's pretty mask off right like you get to see this guy for who he really is and what he you know, like if he doesn't care about that problem getting worse?
Speaker 3:what does he care about?
Speaker 4:Doesn't care about much.
Speaker 1:Obviously, unfortunately, yeah, okay, but like you can be a Christian man and love God and be respectful to women and their choices.
Speaker 2:You just added to my fire.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can, and there are a lot of men that are Christian and believe in God and love women and respect women, they're good men that are good, good men, but unfortunately there are also men that use God in the Bible to oppress and hurt women, and in this case I 100% believe that this is hate speech and this is what this man is doing so I agree 100, 100 emoji thank you for raging with me today, you guys did great and fuck this guy.
Speaker 1:Yep, I agree friend, are you extra mad because he brought in Taylor Swift into his speech and not even mentioned her? He was like my teammate's girlfriend. Did you see that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, everything he said was upsetting.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like don't take him seriously. He talked about pride.
Speaker 2:He talked about women. He talked about, you know, just the unnecessary.
Speaker 1:And then he brought up a quote, a taylor swift quote on his speech and he was like, as my teammates girlfriend would say, he like wouldn't mention her name.
Speaker 2:What I did see was that I'm no swifty, but that's still really dumb stupid that this is the second time he's given a commencement speech at that school and the last time wasn't very different, so that's what I then.
Speaker 3:The school has a problem and people need to stop going to that school yeah let's boycott that school then speak with your money, folks yeah, exactly, exactly closing thoughts be a good manager be a good manager encourage your teammates help people grow share your salary information.
Speaker 4:Share your precision precision information Share your salary.
Speaker 2:That too why?
Speaker 1:not Spread the wealth.
Speaker 4:If you want, I will be providing Zelle information. If you want to share your, where's my Venmo? I don't have Venmo, but you guys have Venmo. Right, we have Venmo. Beautiful, we have Venmo. We'll be accepting everyone else's salary.
Speaker 3:S-O-M underscore cash out.
Speaker 4:No, but really share that information, Don't keep it to yourself. They want you to keep it to yourself, but don't do it, yep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just try to find a place that makes you happy and hopefully helps you. You know, earn enough money to provide for yourself and if you have a family, your family or whatever you want to do. One thing I've learned about any job, no matter how good the job is, is that you are replaceable?
Speaker 1:oh yes, do not give your life to any job you don't give your health to any job. Use your pto, use your benefits don't feel guilty because at the end of the day, the the day you leave that job, they're going to replace you quickly. If you pass away, they're not going to wait.
Speaker 3:They're not going to skip a beat.
Speaker 1:They're not going to skip a beat their company is their company, and you're just one more number, and so I hate to say it that way, but your mental health and your health is more important than any job. So do the work that you need to do, enjoy it as much as you can, but take care of yourself look out for yourself? Absolutely, yeah, and thank you for listening. And thank you, jacob, for hanging out with us. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy to be, here and come back to us anytime.
Speaker 1:You're welcome. Bye Love you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to Latina State of Mind Produced by us. Your awesome hosts Diana, xenia and Nancy Special shout out to. Jerome, our editor. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at lsom underscore podcast and on facebook at latina state of mind. Hasta la proxima.
